Tag Archives: Royal Family

Her Majesty’s Modern Philosopher

Posted on January 19, 2020 by Austin

I am thrilled to announce, Modern Philosophers, that I have accepted Queen Elizabeth’s invitation to fill one of the vacancies in the Royal Family. While I’m sorry to see Harry and Meghan leave for greener pastures in Canada, I am … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

76% Of Americans Think The Country Needs A Royal Baby

Posted on May 6, 2015 by Austin

According to a new poll released by the Department Utilizing Statistics & Tables (DUST), 76% of Americans think the United States needs a Royal Baby of its own. “It’s the only way to keep up with the damn Brits,” Dom … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Declaration Of Independence Never Notarized; America Reverts To British Rule

Posted on July 3, 2014 by Austin

A British court today ruled that The Declaration of Independence was never properly notarized, meaning that America never legally declared its independence from England. As a result, on the eve of Independence Day, The United States of America has ceased … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 77 Comments

Shuffling the Deck: Jacks Finally Promoted

Posted on November 21, 2012 by Austin

Big news, Modern Philosophers, from the Gaming Commission: after centuries of loyal service to the deck, the Jacks of Hearts, Diamonds, Spades, and Clubs have finally been made members of the Royal Family.  That’s right, folks, from now on the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments