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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: running
Off Beat in the Rain
The rain had stopped, but the best friends had to wipe off their favorite bench before they could sit down and stare out at the river. Aaron sipped his Snapple while Holly took a long pull on her coffee. He … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, Fitness, flash fiction, homeowner's biathlon, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, running, Sarcasm, satire, short story
11 Comments
Running the Reservoir in Reverse
On Saturday mornings, I like to sleep in, Modern Philosophers. I hate to get out of bed because every minute under the covers is a minute I am avoiding my morning run. My love/hate relationship with running goes back decades. … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged Central Park Reservoir, Fitness, health, high school, Humor, Modern Philosopher, running, Sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Back on Track
I’ve finally decided to get back into the fitness tracker game, Modern Philosophers. After my FitBit died without warning in mid-January, I’ve been without a step tracking device. And I might have used that lack of a device as an … Continue reading
The Naked Wrist
It was only a week until Halloween, and Maine’s weather had finally decided to shake out of its funk and become more predictable. Ridiculously out of place sunny and 70 degree days had been replaced today by 40, overcast, and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, FitBit, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, running, Sarcasm, satire, short story
5 Comments
The Landscaping Hunger Games
There’s a reason they never arm the writers in movies, Modern Philosophers. They just let them believe that whole “The pen is mightier than the sword!” idea so that writers don’t go out on the battlefield and injure themselves and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Humor, Hunger Games, landscaping, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, running, Sarcasm, satire
4 Comments
Free Your Face And Your Legs Will Follow
Today was a very important day in Maine, Modern Philosophers. June 5 will go down as the day that I officially switched over to shorts for my morning run. This is a huge step that those of you who are … Continue reading
Did Dorothy Travel To Oz With Three Republicans?
I have a lot of interesting Deep Thoughts while I’m running, Modern Philosophers. They’re mostly limited to the usual suspects… Why do I hating running so much? Why do I torture myself like this? Why is that guy in the … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Donald Trump, Humor, Modern Philosopher, movies, Politics, Republicans, running, Sarcasm, satire, Wizard of Oz
2 Comments
Can We Drown In A River Of Compromise?
I went for a run along the river this morning, Modern Philosophers, even though I really didn’t want to do so. This is nothing new. Running isn’t one of my favorite activities, but I always convince myself I’m better off … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged adulting, compromise, Fitness, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, running, Sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
Enjoy Your Discount Chocolate
It’s February 15th, Modern Philosophers, so I suggest you scramble off to the local grocery store to pick up leftover Valentine’s Day candy at severely discounted prices. Please buy this candy for your own enjoyment. If you’re buying it for … Continue reading
A New Grip On Reality
Regular readers of this blog might have noticed the vanishing act I pulled on Tuesday morning, Modern Philosophers. I wrote a post Monday night about receiving my second Coronavirus vaccination. Then I deleted it about twelve hours later. I wanted … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged coronavirus, Fitness, health, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, running, Sarcasm, satire, social distancing, vaccine
9 Comments