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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: sarcasm
No More Resolutions
Aaron waited until Holly pulled down her mask and sipped her coffee before he broke the silence. “Before you ask, I will not be participating in whatever ridiculous shenanigans you have planned for New Year’s Eve.” He lowered his mask, … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged coronavirus, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing
5 Comments
But Trump Saved Us From An Alien Invasion
Aaron and Holly were practicing proper social distancing on their favorite benches in the park. Since they were fifteen feet apart, they had their masks off and were enjoying their favorite beverages on a beautiful Sunday morning. “I spent a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged aliens, coronavirus, Covid 19, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, short story, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy, Trump
6 Comments
A Time Machine For Mom
I have a peculiar Mother’s Day tradition, Modern Philosophers. I like to spend the day in the garage working on my time machine. I’ve been building it for years, and not making much progress, but I always set aside time … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love
Tagged family, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, Mom, Mother's Day, sarcasm, satire, Time Machine, Time Travel
8 Comments
Why Am I So Weird? Part 183
Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers. It’s time, once again, for this blog’s longest running feature, where we take another crack at trying to answer my world’s most challenging Philosophical question: Why am I so weird? Over the many years of this … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged anxiety, coping with stress, dealing with change, FitBit, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, quirks, sarcasm, satire, weird
3 Comments
Not My Leap Day!
I don’t know about you, Modern Philosophers, but as far as I’m concerned, today is March 1. All the calendars in the world can tell me it’s February 29, but I decline to accept that for personal and philosophical reasons. … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged calendars, February 29, Humor, Leap Day, leap year, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, venting
8 Comments
Coping With The Death Of My Fitbit
I’m not very good at dealing with loss, Modern Philosophers. After years of rooting for the Jets, you’d think I’d be used to it by now, but it still gets to me. Maybe I’m an introvert because if I lock … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged FitBit, Fitness, fitness tracker, health, Humor, life hacks, Modern Philosopher, running, sarcasm, satire
17 Comments
Slip, Fall, Get Up, Repeat
We all slip and fall metaphorically, Modern Philosophers, and how we rebound from that adversity is very important. Does the same thing trip us up time and again? Do we let the misstep bother us, or do we learn from … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged adversity, bouncing back, Humor, life, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, sarcasm, satire, winter
6 Comments
No Suits For You!
A friend recently asked if I had a suit for an upcoming function, Modern Philosophers. First off, I told her, I don’t do functions. I’m a devout Introvert, and I take the Commandments quite seriously… Thou shalt not go out … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged fashion, Humor, introverts, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, style, suits, The Nite Show
19 Comments
Maybe Cupid Cares About Your Budget
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, Modern Philosophers. I belong to a support group called Why Does Cupid Hate Us?, which is for people who have issues about being single. Not everyone in the group is angry or bitter, but around … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor, Love
Tagged Cupid, dating, finances, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, money, sarcasm, satire, single life, Valentines' Day
5 Comments
Surviving My Amish Snow Day
It snowed for the last two days, Modern Philosophers. That’s no news flash, as it snows almost every day this time of year. The difference this time, though, was that the snowstorm’s big encore was an ice storm. The conditions … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Blizzard, Humor, ice storm, life, Maine, Modern Philosopher, power outage, sarcasm, satire, Social Media
11 Comments