Tag Archives: sarcasm

If I See My Shadow On Super Bowl Sunday…

Happy Groundhog Super Bowl Sunday, Modern Philosophers! I’m not sure if Groundhog Day and the Super Bowl have ever fallen on the same day before today, and the interns are too lazy to research that, so I guess I’ll never … Continue reading

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You Are The Tooth Doctor! EXTERMINATE!!!

I might not be a mutated alien encased in an armor shell, Modern Philosophers, but there is a chance that I had to desperately fight to keep from unleashing my inner Dalek at the dentist earlier this week. As longtime … Continue reading

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The Chinese Food Payoff

I’ve learned from the recent news, that using the “quid pro quo” business method can get you into trouble, Modern Philosophers. That’s why I’d like to get out in front of a current incident, and take full responsibility for any … Continue reading

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Her Majesty’s Modern Philosopher

I am thrilled to announce, Modern Philosophers, that I have accepted Queen Elizabeth’s invitation to fill one of the vacancies in the Royal Family. While I’m sorry to see Harry and Meghan leave for greener pastures in Canada, I am … Continue reading

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I Made A Perfect Phone Call

I’ve been watching the news a lot lately, Modern Philosophers. And by “watching the news”, I mean getting my daily dose of what’s going on in the world from the late night monologues of Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers. I … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Unrelenting Snow Globe

Thanks for all the messages, Modern Philosophers, asking me where I’ve vanished to since I haven’t blogged in ages. It’s nice to know someone would call the police to check The House on the Hill for a frozen corpse should … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Jokes Not Ready For Late Night (Holiday Edition)

Christmas is almost here, Modern Philosophers!  Holiday specials are showing up on every channel, and last night, The Nite Show with Danny Cashman aired its Christmas episode. I write monologue jokes for the show, and every taping, I turn in … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Shortest Day of the Year

Happy Winter Solstice, Modern Philosophers! The shortest day of the year is upon us, which means things are only going to look up from here.  We’re also on Day 82 of the 182 Days of Terror, aka Winter in Maine, … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Methodical De-Scrooging Of Austin The Grinch

Santa Claus was telling me the other day, Modern Philosophers, that part of the magic of Christmas is that it means something different to everyone. The big guy tends to get philosophical when the eggnog is flowing, but I had … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Searching For Motivation In The Snow

My love/hate relationship with running has taken on an “I think we should see other people” status recently, Modern Philosophers. Winter is always a difficult time to stay motivated with my running program.  I always used to take winters off, … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments