Tag Archives: scandal

Is “Big Candy” Blocking The Sale Of Zero Calorie Valentine’s Chocolate?

Posted on February 9, 2015 by Austin

Is Big Candy blocking the sale of a revolutionary, new zero calorie chocolate less than a week before Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers? According to an anonymous tipster, who called The House on the Hill after reading Saturday’s investigative report on … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Several Of Santa’s Elves Arrested For Selling Spots On The Nice List

Posted on December 1, 2013 by Austin

As the calendar turns to December, it looks like scandal has rocked the North Pole, Modern Philosophers. My sources at Santa’s Village tell me that North Pole Police raided Santa’s Workshop just after 9:00AM, and arrested several Elves, who have … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 43 Comments

Celebrity Splits: Q and U Call it Kwits

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Shocking news from Alphabetville: The letters Q and U have decided to go their separate ways.  Word of the split has rocked the Grammar and Spelling Bee Worlds. In a joint…

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Man Confesses To Being Serial Killer Of Imaginary Friends

Posted on January 27, 2013 by Austin

Doug Byron walked into Police Headquarters in Downtown Bangor and confessed to eight murders over the past two years.  He then led police to eight shallow graves in the woods near Milford, and turned over journals that detailed how he … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 56 Comments

Paparazzi Continue To Hunt For Photo Of Mommy Kissing Santa

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Austin

Paparazzi will be out in droves this Christmas Eve, but this is the one night of the year that Lindsay Lohan, Kate and William, Leonardo DiCaprio and the other usual shutterbug victims will be safe from the ever prying eye … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments