Tag Archives: Science

Send In All The Clones

Posted on June 20, 2020 by Austin

I’ve never been delusional enough, Modern Philosophers, to believe that the world was clamoring for multiple versions of me. One Austin might actually be too many in the opinion of some, but I’m certain no one wants that number increased. … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

A Tear In The Vacation Time/Space Continuum

Posted on September 2, 2019 by Austin

Science has never been my strong suit, Modern Philosophers, but I’ve always had this theory that time speeds up whenever I am on vacation. I think it has something to do with a tear in the space/time continuum, but don’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A Cooler, More Efficient Form Of Time Travel

Posted on August 11, 2019 by Austin

A bunch of us were out on the porch talking about time travel last night, Modern Philosophers. In other words, it was a typical Saturday night at The House on the Hill. We had just returned from the garage, where … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Study Links Stress To The Existence Of Other People

Posted on April 14, 2018 by Austin

Don’t let those Fake News types tell you that the United States isn’t at the top of the global heap when it comes to scientific breakthroughs, Modern Philosophers. Today, a team of government scientists from The Department Utilizing Statistics & … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Why Won’t Sweat Kill Germs?

Posted on October 7, 2017 by Austin

I’ve never been an ace at Science, Modern Philosophers.  That’s why you’ll see me in a toga, but never in a lab coat. Because of this shortcoming, I am forced to keep a team of scientists on retainer to help … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Would A Younger Body Make Me Faster?

Posted on August 9, 2016 by Austin

There are so many great philosophical questions that we could ponder for ages, Modern Philosophers, without ever truly learning the answers. Then, there are some that can be answered much easier when Dr. Emmett “Doc” Brown is your blog’s chief … Continue reading →

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New Study Says To Avoid Eating Yellow Snow

Posted on February 9, 2016 by Austin

According to a new study published by Maine’s prestigious Western Maine Medical Center, it remains a very good idea to never eat yellow snow, Modern Philosophers. A team of scientists, led by Dr. Lisa Nolan, spent the past three years … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Scientists Baffled By Why Women Take Such Long Showers

Posted on November 14, 2015 by Austin

“I’ll need about an hour,” The Sweet Irish Girl called over her shoulder as she vanished into the bathroom. “Okay, sweetie,” I mumbled until my sleepy brain had processed what she had actually said.  “Wait!  What?” And with a click … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

Maine’s Werewolves and Witches Perfecting Half Moon Technology

Posted on June 8, 2015 by Austin

Ever wonder why I haven’t written about Maine’s growing Werewolf population lately, Modern Philosophers? It’s because Gary Lincoln, my good friend and the leader of Maine’s largest Werewolf Pack, has asked me to keep his fellow howlers out of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“Smart” Ice Cream Offers Faster Fix For Sadness And Broken Hearts

Posted on April 23, 2015 by Austin

The next time life has you down, Modern Philosophers, and you reach for that quart of ice cream to make it all better, expect much quicker results! Scientists at Maine’s prestigious Chamberlain Laboratories have created a Smart Ice Cream, which … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 59 Comments