Tag Archives: Science

Send In All The Clones

I’ve never been delusional enough, Modern Philosophers, to believe that the world was clamoring for multiple versions of me. One Austin might actually be too many in the opinion of some, but I’m certain no one wants that number increased. … Continue reading

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A Tear In The Vacation Time/Space Continuum

Science has never been my strong suit, Modern Philosophers, but I’ve always had this theory that time speeds up whenever I am on vacation. I think it has something to do with a tear in the space/time continuum, but don’t … Continue reading

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A Cooler, More Efficient Form Of Time Travel

A bunch of us were out on the porch talking about time travel last night, Modern Philosophers. In other words, it was a typical Saturday night at The House on the Hill. We had just returned from the garage, where … Continue reading

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Study Links Stress To The Existence Of Other People

Don’t let those Fake News types tell you that the United States isn’t at the top of the global heap when it comes to scientific breakthroughs, Modern Philosophers. Today, a team of government scientists from The Department Utilizing Statistics & … Continue reading

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Why Won’t Sweat Kill Germs?

I’ve never been an ace at Science, Modern Philosophers.  That’s why you’ll see me in a toga, but never in a lab coat. Because of this shortcoming, I am forced to keep a team of scientists on retainer to help … Continue reading

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Would A Younger Body Make Me Faster?

There are so many great philosophical questions that we could ponder for ages, Modern Philosophers, without ever truly learning the answers. Then, there are some that can be answered much easier when Dr. Emmett “Doc” Brown is your blog’s chief … Continue reading

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New Study Says To Avoid Eating Yellow Snow

According to a new study published by Maine’s prestigious Western Maine Medical Center, it remains a very good idea to never eat yellow snow, Modern Philosophers. A team of scientists, led by Dr. Lisa Nolan, spent the past three years … Continue reading

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Scientists Baffled By Why Women Take Such Long Showers

“I’ll need about an hour,” The Sweet Irish Girl called over her shoulder as she vanished into the bathroom. “Okay, sweetie,” I mumbled until my sleepy brain had processed what she had actually said.  “Wait!  What?” And with a click … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

Maine’s Werewolves and Witches Perfecting Half Moon Technology

Ever wonder why I haven’t written about Maine’s growing Werewolf population lately, Modern Philosophers? It’s because Gary Lincoln, my good friend and the leader of Maine’s largest Werewolf Pack, has asked me to keep his fellow howlers out of the … Continue reading

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“Smart” Ice Cream Offers Faster Fix For Sadness And Broken Hearts

The next time life has you down, Modern Philosophers, and you reach for that quart of ice cream to make it all better, expect much quicker results! Scientists at Maine’s prestigious Chamberlain Laboratories have created a Smart Ice Cream, which … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 59 Comments