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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Science
Send In All The Clones
I’ve never been delusional enough, Modern Philosophers, to believe that the world was clamoring for multiple versions of me. One Austin might actually be too many in the opinion of some, but I’m certain no one wants that number increased. … Continue reading
A Tear In The Vacation Time/Space Continuum
Science has never been my strong suit, Modern Philosophers, but I’ve always had this theory that time speeds up whenever I am on vacation. I think it has something to do with a tear in the space/time continuum, but don’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, sarcasm, satire, Science, time, Time Travel, vacation
5 Comments
A Cooler, More Efficient Form Of Time Travel
A bunch of us were out on the porch talking about time travel last night, Modern Philosophers. In other words, it was a typical Saturday night at The House on the Hill. We had just returned from the garage, where … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Humor, inventions, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, Science, time machines, Time Travel
8 Comments
Study Links Stress To The Existence Of Other People
Don’t let those Fake News types tell you that the United States isn’t at the top of the global heap when it comes to scientific breakthroughs, Modern Philosophers. Today, a team of government scientists from The Department Utilizing Statistics & … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged causes of stress, dealing with stress, Humor, Modern Philosopher, people suck, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Science, stress
18 Comments
Why Won’t Sweat Kill Germs?
I’ve never been an ace at Science, Modern Philosophers. That’s why you’ll see me in a toga, but never in a lab coat. Because of this shortcoming, I am forced to keep a team of scientists on retainer to help … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged Fitness, Flu, germs, Humor, life hacks, Modern Philosopher, running, sarcasm, satire, Science
4 Comments
Would A Younger Body Make Me Faster?
There are so many great philosophical questions that we could ponder for ages, Modern Philosophers, without ever truly learning the answers. Then, there are some that can be answered much easier when Dr. Emmett “Doc” Brown is your blog’s chief … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged exercise, Fitness, health, Humor, injuries, Modern Philosopher, running, sarcasm, satire, Science, Time Travel
2 Comments
New Study Says To Avoid Eating Yellow Snow
According to a new study published by Maine’s prestigious Western Maine Medical Center, it remains a very good idea to never eat yellow snow, Modern Philosophers. A team of scientists, led by Dr. Lisa Nolan, spent the past three years … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, Science, Snow Miser, snowmen, winter, yellow snow
4 Comments
Scientists Baffled By Why Women Take Such Long Showers
“I’ll need about an hour,” The Sweet Irish Girl called over her shoulder as she vanished into the bathroom. “Okay, sweetie,” I mumbled until my sleepy brain had processed what she had actually said. “Wait! What?” And with a click … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged battle of the sexes, Humor, Modern Philosopher, personal hygiene, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Science, scientific theory, showers, water
37 Comments
Maine’s Werewolves and Witches Perfecting Half Moon Technology
Ever wonder why I haven’t written about Maine’s growing Werewolf population lately, Modern Philosophers? It’s because Gary Lincoln, my good friend and the leader of Maine’s largest Werewolf Pack, has asked me to keep his fellow howlers out of the … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged full moon, Humor, Magic, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Science, Technology, werewolves, Witches
6 Comments
“Smart” Ice Cream Offers Faster Fix For Sadness And Broken Hearts
The next time life has you down, Modern Philosophers, and you reach for that quart of ice cream to make it all better, expect much quicker results! Scientists at Maine’s prestigious Chamberlain Laboratories have created a Smart Ice Cream, which … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged Broken Heart, depression, food, Humor, Ice Cream, life, Modern Philosopher, psychology, Sarcasm, satire, Science
59 Comments