Tag Archives: Shopping

The Snapple Discount Conundrum

Posted on June 3, 2019 by Austin

I like Snapple, Modern Philosophers. If you read this blog, and haven’t picked up on that fact by now, I’m going to have to question your reading comprehension skills. Virtually every afternoon, when the work day really gets me down, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Are Mall Rats Being Devoured By Cyber Cats?

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Austin

I went to the mall today, Modern Philosophers, because it has always been my fantasy to be a cast member in a raunchy 1980s teen comedy. Okay, I lied. I actually went to the mall because I need new running … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Skinnier Guy Problems

Posted on July 11, 2017 by Austin

Sunday was day one hundred of my new fitness routine, Modern Philosophers, and the bathroom scale rewarded my hard work by revealing that I’d lost 39 lbs. That means I’m more than halfway to my goal of losing 75 lbs, … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Targeting Irish Mallrats

Posted on November 16, 2015 by Austin

Mallrats, even though it is directed by Kevin Smith, is not one of my favorite films, Modern Philosophers. Perhaps it’s because Smith got too big budget and commercial right after his super indie, micro budget film Clerks. Or maybe it’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Welcome To America; I Apologize In Advance

Posted on November 15, 2015 by Austin

Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers! As I might have mentioned, The Sweet Irish Girl is visiting The House on the Hill.  Today, I took her out for a Sunday Fun Day. A camera crew followed us around, as usual, and I … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

I Just Want To Go As A Skinny Guy For Halloween

Posted on October 17, 2015 by Austin

I was walking aimlessly around Walmart this morning, Modern Philosophers, when it became apparent that Halloween is just around the corner. Sure, I know it’s been Halloween Season in Maine since October 1, but the big day itself is just … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

The Sweaty Dog Days Of August Have Arrived!

Posted on August 1, 2015 by Austin

Can you believe it’s already August, Modern Philosophers? That incessant barking that kept waking you up all morning was from the Dog Days of August.  They have arrived, and you need to Jump Start Your Summer before all that’s left … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Wine: For When The Days Start To Bleed Together

Posted on July 9, 2015 by Austin

I was so certain that today was Friday, Modern Philosophers, that I’m still having difficulty wrapping my brain around the fact that it’s not. I got off work early, and party animal that I am, I decided to go grocery … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

How To Survive A Trip To The Mall

Posted on June 13, 2015 by Austin

Do you have to go to the mall, Modern Philosophers, and fear that you won’t make it back alive? I’ve decided to expand on my First Date Survival Tips posts and branch out into the frightening realm of Mall Shopping. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Attention, WalMart Shoppers…

Posted on March 28, 2015 by Austin

I decided I needed An adventure Today, So I took A trip To WalMart. It’s just up The street, And way more Convenient than The Mall. I wandered The aisles In search Of bargains, But what I found Was so … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments