Tag Archives: Star Wars

Why Won’t The Aliens Come For Me?

Posted on April 10, 2021 by Austin

Do you ever feel like you just don’t fit in, Modern Philosophers? That’s such a recurring sensation for me, that I actually panic if I ever begin to feel like I’m part of the crowd.  If I’m not on the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Love Your Fellow Earthling

Posted on August 30, 2020 by Austin

Aaron and Holly sat across the path from each other on their assigned benches.  It was a windy day along the river, so there wasn’t much foot traffic on the black top that separated them. Holly knew the silence wouldn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Send In All The Clones

Posted on June 20, 2020 by Austin

I’ve never been delusional enough, Modern Philosophers, to believe that the world was clamoring for multiple versions of me. One Austin might actually be too many in the opinion of some, but I’m certain no one wants that number increased. … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Wear A Mask In Public, This Is The Way

Posted on May 17, 2020 by Austin

I’ve just finished watching The Mandalorian, Modern Philosophers. Not only was it highly entertaining, but it also taught me what to say to people who refuse to wear a mask in public: This is the way. For those of you … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Could Darth Vader Defeat Beta’s Walker Herd?

Posted on April 21, 2020 by Austin

With all this free time on my hands, Modern Philosophers, I’ve spent countless hours wrestling with the great Philosophical debates of our time. Lately, I’ve grown bored with the great debates, and moved onto to other burning questions that really … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Trump Orders Jedi Arrested As States Merge Into Districts

Posted on April 16, 2020 by Austin

Lately, Modern Philosophers, I feel like I’m living in the chaotic days before the cataclysmic events that lead to the birth of the dystopian societies in so many of the movies and books that I enjoy. I try to avoid … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

My Own Personal Death Star

Posted on May 24, 2019 by Austin

A long time ago, in a neighborhood far, far away, a lonely boy sat in his bedroom in Brooklyn, and dreamed about growing up to be a Jedi Knight. That sad, lonely, nerdy boy was me, Modern Philosophers. You didn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do Go Chasing Waterfalls

Posted on September 3, 2018 by Austin

Happy Labor Day, Modern Philosophers! This holiday, which has traditionally marked the end of summer, is actually the last day of my vacation. I’m not looking forward to rejoining the rat race tomorrow, but I definitely took advantage of this … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Trick or Treat or Time Travel

Posted on October 28, 2017 by Austin

Justin exploded up off the couch excitedly the second he heard the knock at the front door. He loved Halloween, but rarely got any trick or treaters.  He didn’t understand why since he lived in a nice neighborhood.  The rumor … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The Jedi Lawn Trick

Posted on May 21, 2017 by Austin

“If you were to wake up tomorrow morning to discover that you had suddenly and mysteriously been blessed with Jedi powers, what’s the first thing you would do?” The Devil asked as he put down the Sunday edition of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments