Tag Archives: Stephen King

When The Smoke Clears

Posted on September 17, 2017 by Austin

“I had the craziest dream last night,” I revealed to my guest when the football game finally went to commercial. “Give me one second,” The Devil requested. As always, he was well dressed in an impeccably tailored suit.  He had … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Why Is Stephen King On My Couch?

Posted on July 27, 2016 by Austin

I’ve lived in Maine for a delightful thirteen years now, Modern Philosophers, and The House on the Hill is strategically located only a few miles from Stephen King’s stately, easily recognizable mansion. Yet I’ve never once run into Maine’s most … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Now This Is Stephen King’s Maine

Posted on July 29, 2015 by Austin

I have to admit, Modern Philosophers, that when I moved to Maine, I expected it to be exactly like something out of Stephen King’s scarier novels. In fact, when we were deciding where we wanted to live, I told J … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Attention, WalMart Shoppers…

Posted on March 28, 2015 by Austin

I decided I needed An adventure Today, So I took A trip To WalMart. It’s just up The street, And way more Convenient than The Mall. I wandered The aisles In search Of bargains, But what I found Was so … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Stephen King To Pay For Retractable Dome To Protect Maine From Winter

Posted on January 14, 2015 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
The Master of Nightmares has become the Granter of Dreams, Modern Philosophers! As Maine suffers through its coldest Winter since the dawn of time, the state’s most famous resident has decided…

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All Hallows Society Votes To Continue Maine’s Ban On Clowns

Posted on March 28, 2014 by Austin

The All Hallows Society, the Ultra Secret and Extremely Powerful Organization that polices the affairs of Otherworldly Beings in Maine, today voted unanimously to continue the state’s ban on clowns. This decision to move forward with the anti-clown crusade comes … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Governor LePage Rejects Aliens’ Offer To Protect Maine From Winter With Dome

Posted on December 28, 2013 by Austin

As Maine continues to struggle with power outages from last week’s ice storm, another blizzard is bearing down on the snow smothered state. Maine’s Alien population has offered to use its advanced technology to drop a dome over the state … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Three Chairs On A Porch: Two Kings & A Jester

Posted on September 29, 2013 by Austin

Welcome back, Modern Philosophers, for another installment of “Three Chairs on a Porch”.  I didn’t expect to get so much positive feedback from last night’s first installment, but I want to keep my readers happy so here we are back … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Bangor

Posted on September 4, 2013 by Austin

Because the Zombie Car has not yet been brought back to life, I had to find an alternate way to get to work today, Modern Philosophers. Since this is Maine, which I have established is a truly magical place, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

New Law Prohibits Enclosing Any Maine Town Inside A Dome

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Austin

Maine Governor Paul LePage is quick to admit that he has never read “Under the Dome”, Stephen King’s 2009 novel about a fictional Maine town that is cut off from the rest of the world after it is enclosed within … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 16 Comments