Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

And Then I Put On My Sweatpants…

Posted on November 22, 2018 by Austin

Thanksgiving is a bit anticlimactic, don’t you agree, Modern Philosophers? The entire day builds up to this enormous feast, but once you’re done eating, it feels just like any other meal.  You’re full, a bit bloated, maybe you burp a … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

And Then I Ate My Weight In Turkey…

Posted on November 22, 2018 by Austin

Happy Thanksgiving, Modern Philosophers! This has always been a complicated holiday for me.  It is linked to so many memories, both good and bad, usually associated with past relationships. As a result, I tend to be moody on Turkey Day.  … Continue reading →

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I’m Thankful For Less Anxiety

Posted on November 21, 2018 by Austin

Happy Thanksgiving, Modern Philosophers! In honor of the holiday, I thought I’d write a post about something for which I am thankful this year. As Turkey Day rolls around, I’m grateful that there is less anxiety in my life. It’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Giant Turkey Caravan Headed For US Border

Posted on November 18, 2018 by Austin

I don’t want to be a fear monger, Modern Philosophers, but I need to warn you that there is another huge caravan headed towards the U.S. border. This one, however, is heading north through Maine on its way to Canada. … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Is Thanksgiving Trying To Kill Me?

Posted on November 24, 2017 by Austin

Dear Modern Philosophers, I am writing to you because I have an overwhelming sense of foreboding, and if anything happens to me, I want you to be able to tell the authorities who did it. I think Thanksgiving is trying … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

We Should Be Thankful We’re All Still Alive

Posted on November 22, 2017 by Austin

We should be thankful we’re all still alive… I overheard that gem recently while shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, Modern Philosophers. Of course, it piqued my interest, so I had to listen in a little longer to see if these strangers … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Go Stuff Yourself

Posted on November 21, 2017 by Austin

Thanksgiving time Is back again, And that can only mean One thing… You must give in To the deepest, Darkest, Highest caloric Desires of your belly. Sure, this holiday Is about gratitude. I mean, It’s right there In the name, … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Time Traveling Turkeys

Posted on November 19, 2017 by Austin

“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and it seems that it would be in turkeys’ best interest to develop a time machine,” I announced to my Sunday guest as I fished a fresh bottle of Snapple out of … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What If The Pilgrims Had Run A 5K Instead?

Posted on November 18, 2017 by Austin

Far too many Americans are fat and out of shape, Modern Philosophers. Do you know who I blame for this? The Pilgrims. Those judgmental bastards with the horrible fashion sense could have ensured that this was a nation of healthy, … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thanksgiving in August

Posted on August 26, 2017 by Austin

Since anything can happen on vacation, Modern Philosophers, I decided to make today Thanksgiving. No, I didn’t dress up as a Pilgrim and watch football all day like I normally do on National Turkey Day, but I did make the … Continue reading →

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