Tag Archives: The Force Awakens

Farewell, Sweet Princess

Posted on December 27, 2016 by Austin

There is much sadness across the galaxy, Modern Philosophers, at the news of the passing of Carrie Fisher. While a great writer and an actress of many roles, Fisher will be forever remembered by fan boys and girls throughout the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The Oscars’ Alarming Lack Of Star Wars Diversity

Posted on February 28, 2016 by Austin

The Academy Awards are tonight, Modern Philosophers, and I really don’t care. As a screenwriter, NYU Film School graduate, and card carrying Film Nerd, the Oscars are supposed to be my celluloid version of the Super Bowl. By now, I … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The First Order Endorses Jeb Bush For President

Posted on January 23, 2016 by Austin

In a move that caught many political pundits off guard, the intergalactic military power known as The First Order announced that it is endorsing Jeb Bush in the 2016 Presidential Election. In a prepared statement distributed to the press, Supreme … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Kylo Ren Vows To Destroy Hollywood After Oscar Snub

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Austin

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, an epic story unfolded that would become the basis of one of the highest grossing movies of all time, Modern Philosophers. In the present day, however, the members of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Dr Lucifer Makes House Calls

Posted on January 17, 2016 by Austin

I opened my eyes, and as the world slowly came into focus, I realized that I was staring up into the handsome, smiling face of The Devil. “What are you doing in my bedroom?” I mumbled as I reached around … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Lessons I Learned From Star Wars

Posted on January 11, 2016 by Austin

I finally saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens this weekend, Modern Philosophers, and I can’t seem to stop writing about the Star Wars franchise. I have made no secret of the fact that Star Wars was the movie that inspired … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

The Prince Of The Dark Side

Posted on January 10, 2016 by Austin

I sensed a disturbance in the Force, so I looked up to discover The Devil grinning at me from the entrance to the living room. “You’re not a Vampire,” I reminded him.  “You don’t need to wait for me to … Continue reading →

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My Force Has Been Awakened!

Posted on January 10, 2016 by Austin

A long time ago, in a theater not that far from The House on the Hill, Star Wars: The Force Awakens opened. As much as I was dying to see the flick, I don’t like going to packed theaters, waiting … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Star Wars Fever Severely Disrupts North Pole Toy Production

Posted on December 16, 2015 by Austin

A long time ago, at a workshop far, far away… Santa’s Elves were hard at work making the toys that good little girls and boys all over the world will be receiving on Christmas. That was, until Star Wars Fever … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

How My Girlfriend Used The Jedi Mind Trick On Me From Switzerland

Posted on December 12, 2015 by Austin

My Sweet Irish Girlfriend claims to have never seen any of the Star Wars films, Modern Philosophers. I tell her all the time that she is lucky she is so pretty, which allows me to overlook this otherwise fatal flaw. … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Fitness, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments