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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: time
A Tear In The Vacation Time/Space Continuum
Science has never been my strong suit, Modern Philosophers, but I’ve always had this theory that time speeds up whenever I am on vacation. I think it has something to do with a tear in the space/time continuum, but don’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, sarcasm, satire, Science, time, Time Travel, vacation
5 Comments
After Dinner Mints: When Time Doesn’t Break
Do you ever get the sense, Modern Philosophers, that time is standing still? It happens to me every Monday through Friday from 8:30am until 5:00pm. My work day absolutely drags, and I swear that my employers are somehow messing with … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love
Tagged break time, dating, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, time, work
4 Comments
Time Travels
An interested party Asked me Today Why I’d gotten Divorced. The question Threw me Because I hadn’t Thought about That event In quite some time. I answered That it had been So long That I couldn’t Even remember The reason. … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged dating, divorce, Humor, life, Marriage, Modern Philosopher, painful memories, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, time
16 Comments
The Devil Doesn’t Spring Ahead
I returned to The House on the Hill sweaty, sore, and frustrated after my morning run. The last thing I needed was to discover The Devil, all slim and impeccably dressed in one of his tailored suits, sitting in my … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged clocks, fiction, hell, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, Spring Ahead, The Devil, time
13 Comments
I Advise You To Spring Ahead Immediately
Dear Modern Philosopher, What time is it? I’m so confused! Sincerely, Trapped In A Tear In The Space/Time Continuum Dear Trapped, Don’t panic. You haven’t fallen through a tear in the space/time continuum. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for your … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged advice, clocks, Daylight Savings, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Robot Apocalypse, Sarcasm, satire, Spring Ahead, time, Time Travel
26 Comments
I Advise You To Let Time Fly
Dear Modern Philosopher, I’m having trouble finding enough time in the day to get done all the things I want to do. Of course, I always find time for things that need to be done like going to work, mowing … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged advice, clocks, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, time, writing
15 Comments
Friday Night Think Tank: That Time Of The Month Edition
Happy Friday, Modern Philosophers! Do you realize that at this time next week, we will officially be in Spring? As far as the Calendar Commission is concerned, Thursday is the first day of Spring. In Maine, however, that season doesn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged calendar, Deep Thoughts, Humor, Modern Philosopher, months, Sarcasm, satire, seasons, time
24 Comments
I Advise You To Spring Ahead And Buy An Alarm Clock
Dear Modern Philosopher, I hope you get this email and choose to respond to it today because this is literally a time sensitive issue! I woke up this morning, checked the time on my cell phone, and decided to go … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged advice, Humor, Machines, Modern Philosopher, Robot Apocalypse, Sarcasm, satire, Spring Ahead, Technology, time
8 Comments
Friday Night Think Tank: Spring Ahead Edition
It’s Friday night, Modern Philosophers, and this is the weekend when we time travel. Are you ready to spring ahead an hour? As we head off to the Think Tank tonight, we should form some Deep Thoughts on what it … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Fall Back, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, Sarcasm, satire, Spring Ahead, time
14 Comments
Hey, Doc, Have You Got The Time?
Hey, Doc, Have you got the time To help a guy in need? I cannot see the future Because I’m dwelling In the past. My insurance says You’re out of network But who can put a price On peace of … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged Back to the Future, Doc Brown, future, Humor, Modern Philosopher, past, reminiscing, time, Time Travel
9 Comments