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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Turkey
Giant Turkey Caravan Headed For US Border
I don’t want to be a fear monger, Modern Philosophers, but I need to warn you that there is another huge caravan headed towards the U.S. border. This one, however, is heading north through Maine on its way to Canada. … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged caravan, Donald Trump, fear mongering, Happy Thanksgiving, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Turkey
14 Comments
Gravy Me!
I am a turkey. A noble bird. It is Thanksgiving, And I know my time has come. Before you eat me, Please grant my final wish. I want you to bathe me In your finest gravy. Gravy me! Pour it … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Poetry
Tagged food, gravy, Humor, Modern Philosopher, nonsense, poem, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Turkey
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Genetically Engineered Turkeys Ensure Longer Thanksgiving Naps
Science has given us something else to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, Modern Philosophers. A team from the University of Maine’s Genetics Lab announced the creation of a genetically engineered “Super Turkey” that contains extra Tryptophan. The bird, nicknamed “The … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged family, Humor, Modern Philosopher, naps, Sarcasm, satire, Science, Thanksgiving, tryptophan, Turkey
16 Comments
Gravy Train Derails On Way To Maine; Dry Thanksgiving Expected
The New Hampshire Transportation Authority has confirmed that a Gravy Train bound for Maine derailed this evening about 15 miles from the state line. While no one was killed in the accident, several crew members were injured and rushed to … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Accident, gravy, Humor, Modern Philosopher, News, Pilgrims, Sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, train, Turkey
28 Comments
Starbucks Pulls Thanksgiving Coffees After Multiple Complaints
Coffee giant Starbucks decided to pull its two new seasonal coffees after receiving numerous complaints about the items. “We thought it would be fun to come up with special Holiday offerings for our customers at Thanksgiving,” Starbucks spokesman Dirk Benedict … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged cofee, feast, Humor, leftovers, Modern Philosophers, Sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Turkey
42 Comments
Challenge Accepted: Why I’m Thankful
I was speaking to a colleague about what I should do for a Thanksgiving Day entry on the blog, and she challenged me with: “You’re the creative one. Figure out something different.” While the Modern Philosopher’s way is to go … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Comedy, Deep Thoughts, Gobble Gobble, Happy Thanksgiving, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Pilgrims, satire, Thankful, Turkey
7 Comments