Tag Archives: Vampires

The Apple Pie Conundrum

Posted on July 4, 2017 by Austin

I was sitting on the front porch, reading a good book, and enjoying the silence before the drunks with explosives ruined the holiday and drove me down into the safety of my soundproof basement bunker. “Happy Independence Day, Austin!” The … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Bloodsuckers For Trump

Posted on June 30, 2016 by Austin

Independence Day is just around the corner, Modern Philosophers, so we’re having a big barbecue at work. I don’t know anyone who enjoys a thick, juicy, very rare hamburger more than my friend Ana.  Since I hadn’t seen my favorite … Continue reading →

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Do Vampires Even Like Birthday Cake?

Posted on October 25, 2015 by Austin

“That was an excellent party,” The Devil complimented me as he helped to collect some of the discarded cups that were littered all over the living room. “You act like you’re surprised,” I countered as I walked over with the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

In The Afterglow

Posted on September 6, 2015 by Austin

I was sitting in my favorite place at The House on the Hill…with my legs up on the front porch railing. I had a glass of Snapple in one hand and a tattered paperback in the other. “You really do … Continue reading →

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A Vampire, Gargoyle, Philosopher Kinda Sunset

Posted on July 7, 2015 by Austin

“Thanks for inviting me up here to hang,” Ana said as she clutched her tattered paperback in one hand and smoothed out her blanket with the other.  “I always thought the roof was a No Girls Allowed kind of situation.” … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Fitness, Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

A Bloody Creepy Question

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Austin

“What’s your blood type?” she asked without looking up from the tattered paperback she was reading on her end of the couch. Normally, when a gorgeous woman asks that question, it doesn’t throw me.  However, when it’s posed by my … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

We’ll Always Have Shoveling…

Posted on March 15, 2015 by Austin

I had resigned myself to another lonely Sunday of shoveling snow from the driveway of The House on the Hill, when Gary the Gargoyle flew down from his perch to join me. “There’s nothing sadder than a guy shoveling snow … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

A Hump Day’s Journey Into Night

Posted on February 4, 2015 by Austin

Apparently, I was smiling as I slid into my usual booth at Three Toads & A Wicked Lady, because Ana commented on it the second she took off her jacket. “What’s gotten into you tonight?” my favorite Vampire asked as … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Caroling Vampires and Snowmen Bring Christmas Joy to Maine

Posted on December 10, 2014 by Austin

I have told you that Maine is a magical place, Modern Philosophers, and it feels even more so during the Holiday Season. Maybe it’s all the snow, the Holiday decorations, and the way my fellow Mainers seem to be in … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Hamburger With The Vampire

Posted on October 25, 2014 by Austin

Today is my favorite Vampire’s birthday, Modern Philosophers! I had the privilege of spending time with Ana, the beautiful, witty, sarcastic, sassy, bookworm of a Vampire on her special day. I offered to take her anywhere she wanted as Maine … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments