Tag Archives: wit

When Did My Brain Get So Fat?

I could barely lift my head today, Modern Philosophers, because my brain had inexplicably gotten ridiculously fat. Of course, I realize it’s not normal for that particular body part to suddenly put on weight, but I know my body and … Continue reading

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Construction Criticism

When I’m not writing at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers, I am chained to a desk at an undisclosed location in the Greater Bangor Area. Not much changes in an office.  Sure, the people might come and go, … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Modern Philosopher Migraine Phortune Cookies

“With great power comes the need for an industrial size bottle of ibuprofen.” — The Man in the Toga Surprise, Modern Philosophers!  I’ve dusted off an old favorite, and give you with the first Phortune Cookies post since Thanksgiving. I … Continue reading

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The Snowman Diet

Hey, Mr. Snowman! Do you mind If I say You are Looking Really good Lately? I remember You used To be So obese, And I worried About your Health. Lately, though, I can’t help But notice That you’ve Dropped A … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Snowman Suicides Skyrocket In Maine As Warm Weather Persists

Winter can be a depressing time for humans, Modern Philosophers, but it has proven to be much worse for snowmen in Maine. As temperatures continue to hover in the 40s, the snow and ice have virtually vanished from sight.  As … Continue reading

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Sorry, But Your Warranty Doesn’t Cover Gargoyle Damage

The House on the Hill might play host to many an Otherworldly Being, Modern Philosophers, but apparently, my homeowner’s insurance does not take that into account. The roofers stopped by my home today to investigate my claim that several shingles … Continue reading

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Little Orphan Annie’s Career As Maine Meteorologist Is Short Lived

Little Orphan Annie, that adorable scamp who became famous when Broadway decided to turn her depressing life story into an upbeat musical, is back to singing about the hard knock life. The now thirtysomething spitfire with the freckled face and … Continue reading

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