Tag Archives: Zombie Apocalypse

Stay At Home Snowstorm

Remember how I told you I’ve lost track of what day it is since this whole self-isolation, stay at home, don’t go to work, just wear sweatpants all the time thing started, Modern Philosophers? Well, another issue resulting from never … Continue reading

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God Electrifies The Pearly Gates To Keep Out Zombies

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Apparently, Zombies don’t get to go to Heaven, Modern Philosophers. The Vatican announced today that God had electrified the Pearly Gates in order to keep out the herds of Zombies that…

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Zombie McPocalype! Maine Zombies Feast On Passed Out St Paddy’s Day Revelers

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Sadly, we now know what St. Patrick’s Day is a Zombie’s favorite holiday. The reports that have been coming in across the state of Maine are both horrifying and gruesome.  …

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Snowmen Honored For Their Role In Maine’s Zombie Fight

Governor Paul LePage today honored Maine’s Snowmen for their role in the fight against the state’s Zombie population. “Few people realize the important part our snowy friends play in our ongoing battle to ward off the Zombie Apocalypse,” Lori Romero, … Continue reading

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Dawn Of The Beautifully Colored Dead

A surprising twist to the Fall Foliage Season in Maine, Modern Philosophers… The Zombies seem to be changing color as well to better fit in with their surroundings. “We think the Zombies are finally evolving, having been a part of … Continue reading

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Blizzard Of Zombies Turns Brewer Dairy Queen Into Royal Mess

It was such a hot day in Maine today, Modern Philosophers, that the Zombies were willing to trade in their usual feast of brains for an attack of brain freeze. At 12:13pm, Brewer Police responded to a frantic 911 call … Continue reading

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Zombies Census Taker: Toughest Job In Maine?

The job starts with you arming yourself, putting on your protective gear, grabbing your badge, and heading out to face diabolical individuals who want to rip you to pieces and devour your brain. You are a Maine Zombies Census Agent. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Zombie McPocalype! Maine Zombies Feast On Passed Out St Paddy’s Day Revelers

Sadly, we now know what St. Patrick’s Day is a Zombie’s favorite holiday. The reports that have been coming in across the state of Maine are both horrifying and gruesome.   The Zombie Problem, which Governor LePage had assured us … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Zom-Be Friends, Maine’s First Zombie Social Networking Site, Slowly Shuffles To Success

Wes Campbell, the founder and CEO of Zom-Be Friends, the social networking site for Maine Zombies, stopped by The House on the Hill this morning to talk about the site’s success…and to try to tempt me into signing up for … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

Do Zombies Dream of a White Meat Christmas???

My drive home from work is always a bit slower during the Holidays because I need to pass the Mall in order to get back to the House on the Hill.  Tonight’s drive was slower than usual because a couple … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments