Tag Archives: Zombie Apocalypse

Stay At Home Snowstorm

Posted on April 9, 2020 by Austin

Remember how I told you I’ve lost track of what day it is since this whole self-isolation, stay at home, don’t go to work, just wear sweatpants all the time thing started, Modern Philosophers? Well, another issue resulting from never … Continue reading →

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God Electrifies The Pearly Gates To Keep Out Zombies

Posted on January 23, 2015 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Apparently, Zombies don’t get to go to Heaven, Modern Philosophers. The Vatican announced today that God had electrified the Pearly Gates in order to keep out the herds of Zombies that…

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Zombie McPocalype! Maine Zombies Feast On Passed Out St Paddy’s Day Revelers

Posted on March 17, 2014 by Austin

Happy St. Paddy’s Day from Maine’s Zombies!

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Snowmen Honored For Their Role In Maine’s Zombie Fight

Posted on January 23, 2014 by Austin

Governor Paul LePage today honored Maine’s Snowmen for their role in the fight against the state’s Zombie population. “Few people realize the important part our snowy friends play in our ongoing battle to ward off the Zombie Apocalypse,” Lori Romero, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Dawn Of The Beautifully Colored Dead

Posted on October 13, 2013 by Austin

A surprising twist to the Fall Foliage Season in Maine, Modern Philosophers… The Zombies seem to be changing color as well to better fit in with their surroundings. “We think the Zombies are finally evolving, having been a part of … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Blizzard Of Zombies Turns Brewer Dairy Queen Into Royal Mess

Posted on August 20, 2013 by Austin

It was such a hot day in Maine today, Modern Philosophers, that the Zombies were willing to trade in their usual feast of brains for an attack of brain freeze. At 12:13pm, Brewer Police responded to a frantic 911 call … Continue reading →

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Zombies Census Taker: Toughest Job In Maine?

Posted on June 19, 2013 by Austin

The job starts with you arming yourself, putting on your protective gear, grabbing your badge, and heading out to face diabolical individuals who want to rip you to pieces and devour your brain. You are a Maine Zombies Census Agent. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Zom-Be Friends, Maine’s First Zombie Social Networking Site, Slowly Shuffles To Success

Posted on March 7, 2013 by Austin

Wes Campbell, the founder and CEO of Zom-Be Friends, the social networking site for Maine Zombies, stopped by The House on the Hill this morning to talk about the site’s success…and to try to tempt me into signing up for … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

Do Zombies Dream of a White Meat Christmas???

Posted on December 11, 2012 by Austin

My drive home from work is always a bit slower during the Holidays because I need to pass the Mall in order to get back to the House on the Hill.  Tonight’s drive was slower than usual because a couple … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Zombie Flash Mob “Thrills” Surprised Crowd in Downtown Bangor

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Austin

Zombies!  Zombies!  Zombies!  They seemed to materialize out of nowhere.  About two dozen of them.  Suddenly clogging the intersection in downtown Bangor.  People on their way to work didn’t even notice them at first.  They were that stealthy.  This Modern … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments