Tag Archives: Zombies

Does Slow Dancing On A Grave Lead To Necrophilia?

Several local morticians with apparently far too much time on their hands, recently sat down to ponder a Deep Thought that has kept many people awake at night: Does slow dancing on a grave lead to increased instances of necrophilia? … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I Advise You To Seek Out Zombies And Heartbreak

Dear Modern Philosopher, I don’t live in Maine, so I was unable to watch The Nite Show last night, but I bet you did a wonderful job in your on air appearance.  Was it a hit?  Did the audience laugh? … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

My Top 5 Things About Easter

Happy Easter Eve, Modern Philosophers! Some of you religious scholars might refer to it as Holy Saturday, but at The House on the Hill, where things are so much more laid back, it’s simply Easter Eve. It’s been a while … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

My Top 5 Favorite Things About Friday

It’s Friday, Modern Philosophers!  Somehow, we survived another week and the weekend has finally arrived. I thought it would be fitting to further celebrate the day with a My Top 5 about things I like about Friday. And, no, that … Continue reading

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Zombies Want To Win (Eat) Your Heart On Valentine’s Day

The Maine Zombie Authority has issued the following warning for all of Maine for the weekend beginning Friday February 13th and ending on Sunday February 15th. A Zombie Blizzard Warning is in effect for the entire state. This means that … Continue reading

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God Electrifies The Pearly Gates To Keep Out Zombies

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Apparently, Zombies don’t get to go to Heaven, Modern Philosophers. The Vatican announced today that God had electrified the Pearly Gates in order to keep out the herds of Zombies that…

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Maine Stinks Wicked Awful After Two Day Zombie Thaw

I’ve never been a fan of Maine’s cold Winter temperatures, Modern Philosophers, but I was quite pleased to see the mercury dip back into the 20s today. After two days of temperatures in the 40s, Maine stank like an abattoir … Continue reading

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Zombie Claus? Santa Wants A Walking Dead Cameo For Christmas

Today, Modern Philosophers, I got to ask the question that everyone thinks about at some point during the Christmas Season: What does Santa Claus want for Christmas? “Ho!  Ho!  Ho!  Thanks for asking, Austin,” Santa Claus responded via Skype.  “I’m … Continue reading

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I’m Dreaming Of A Zombie Christmas

I’m dreaming Of a Zombie Christmas, And not sleeping well, Which blows. When I close my eyes, I can only hear Hungry Zombies Trudging through the snow. I’m dreaming Of a Zombie Christmas Haunted by nightmares Bloody and gray, They … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Who’s Your Zombie Secret Santa?

My blogger friend JED from JED’s Playhouse wrote a great post yesterday asking what one would buy a Zombie for Christmas.  You can check out it here… JED’s Zombie Post. We went back and forth in the comments section of … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments