Once again, Maine is setting the trend for the rest of this great nation to follow. Maine’s Department of Motor Vehicles today announced that there will now be a minimum IQ requirement for any new drivers seeking a license. IQ tests will be administered with the DMV exam, and a minimum IQ score of 70 is required before the person will be allowed near a car.
Maine’s average IQ score is 106 according to data this Modern Philosopher found on the internet, so it’s not like the DMV is setting the bar too high. So why the change?
“The one constant complaint we were getting from law enforcement officers and other drivers was that there were too many morons on the road,” explained Denise Walker, the DMV’s ironically named spokesperson. “Someone brought this to Governor LePage’s attention and made him aware that anyone with an IQ score under 70 was considered to be a moron. Next thing we knew, we were told to administer IQ tests.”
My sources tell me that Governor LePage took an IQ test first to make sure his score was above the moron range before he proposed the new law. These same sources tell me that he had to take the test three times before he achieved a score in the safe zone.
“We expect there to be some protests about this new law,” Walker continued. “However, the Governor’s people have made it clear that this is the way it’s going to be, and they will fight anyone who tries to overturn his decision.”
“It doesn’t take a genius to realize that this new IQ requirement is in the best interest of all Mainers,” read the statement issued by Governor LePage. “We can’t be giving out licenses to anyone who asks, simply because they can pass a written test and demonstrate that they can not only properly operate a motor vehicle, but also understand the safety laws and rules of road. Those days of handing out licenses willy nilly are over. This is a great day for the State of Maine.”
This Modern Philosopher has also learned that the Governor’s office is putting pressure on the Tourism Board to work the new law into its advertising campaign. My source at the Tourism Board confirmed this. “As a joke, we sent back ideas like ‘Maine: Where Morons Have To Ride Shotgun’ and ‘Maine: Where The Person In The Next Lane Is Probably A Genius’. LePage’s people actually sent back notes encouraging us to come up with a dozen more like that. Can you believe it?”
What do you think, Modern Philosophers? Is Maine on the right track here? Is there a correlation between IQ and driving skills? Would you support this law if it were proposed in your state?
At least one good thing has come out of this. The next time a Mainer calls the Governor a moron, he can wave his test results in that person’s face and prove him wrong.
I have a feeling the Governor is going to need to keep that test score handy after this one…
The Return of the Modern Philosopher 
In Miami they should be psych eval as these immigrant drivers think the streets are a rodeo or bull fight. This is to object to habit not national origin because I am a product of recent immigrants myself – Mars.
Maybe Floridians should elect Paul LePage as their new governor, and he can make that a law for you…
I think the governor is pretty smart! I’d like to take that test 3 times too . . . breeze through with my 60 three times, and I come out a genius . . . a consistent one at that! 😉
If you send me $1000 right now, I’ll send you three copies of the test. Deal? 😀
Well Austin, your reply reminds me of something that pretty much “sums it ups”…hope you don’t mind adding a rather precious YouTube video:
Thanks for sharing…
glad you like it.
🙂
I work with people who have intellectual disabilities, so I’m well acquainted with a few hundred of the people you’re writing about. Drivers with IQ’s under 70 run the same range of good to bad as people with higher IQ’s The caregivers, family and acquaintances of people with intellectual disabilities are highly proactive, so if the governor finds 100,000 angry people storming the capital holding signs, he may have to rethink who’s the moron.. In fact, to salvage his career, he may have to look into Geico where he could save moron car insurance. 🙂
Governor LePage isn’t making any new fans with this one…
is that a maine coon cat pictured in the license? probably the most intelligent of the lot
I think it’s just a regular kitty. How she got a license, I do not know!
Wow, just a big fat oh my FG wow 🙂
I hope that’s a good thing! 😉
Totally, it takes a special kind of stupid to say if you can’t answer a “Mary is on a train that leaves Bethel at 11 am. What time did Tom have dinner” question then fuck you walk 🙂
🙂
My sources tell me that Governor LePage took an IQ test first to make sure his score was above the moron range before he proposed the new law. These same sources tell me that he had to take the test three times before he achieved a score in the safe zone.
My most favorite part 😀
There are several other posts about the Governor and his opponent in the upcoming election…Mayor McCheese. I think the mayor is going to win in a landslide!
I have to reblog this, it’s just epic….
Thank you! Please look around the blog as there are many more post you might find to be epic! 🙂
Reblogged this on Psychic fairy cupcake shit 🙂 and commented:
Reason 397 I sometimes pretend I am Canadian…
Thanks for a story so well written that I was completely sucked in, pointing out I am still more gullible than I believed myself to be, and how sickly-sophisticated is your imagination. – Mike
Mike, I’m glad you enjoyed it. There’s a blog full of other stories like that. Dive in and catch up on what’s there. 🙂
If you added hand eye coordination to the testing, this may work to make the streets of Florida safe…;-)
Like I told a previous poster, Floridians should elect LePage their Governor. Save us Mainers from him… 🙂
The streets would be lawless here….
Well, if the streets had no name, then the morons would be in a heap of trouble! 😉