Genie, Tired Of His Dependence On The Bottle, Enters Rehab

GenieThe Genie is out of the bottle, Modern Philosophers.  At least that is the wish Gustavo the Genie hopes is granted now that he has agreed to enter Rehab at an undisclosed location.

“I have become far too dependent upon the bottle, Austin,” Gustavo confessed to me as I saw him off on his journey to sobriety.  “I’ve spent my whole life granting wishes, but this is the first time I’ve wished for something for myself.  All I want is to be alcohol free…and to have a hundred more wishes!”

We both chuckled at his bad joke, but it was clear that this was a difficult moment for the proud Genie, who has lived in Maine ever since he was first brought here by Pirates several hundred years ago.

“I’ve granted wishes to the Native Americans, the Pilgrims, the Colonists, the Red Coats, Union Soldiers…you name the group from American History, and I guarantee I’ve dealt with at least one of its members,” he boasted as a little show of pride improved his outlook.

bottles-2“The one problem a Genie faces, if you can even classify it as such, is that people are always so happy after they have their wishes granted,” he went on to explain.  “And when people are happy, the want to celebrate, which means going for drinks.  That’s how I got far too well acquainted with the bottle, my friend.”

“I have been in far more bottles over the centuries than any Genie should…”  His voice trailed off as the sadness gripped him again.  I placed a supportive hand on his mighty shoulder to let him know that I was there for him.   I almost said I wished I could be stronger for him, but I didn’t want to put him in a position where he had to grant my wish.

alcohol-rehabThe first step is always the hardest, and my friend was taking a giant one.  I shook his hand, promised I would write, and dropped him off at the airport.  Yes, a Genie could’ve found a more magical way to get to Rehab, but he wanted to approach sobriety just like anyone else.  He did tell me, however, that he wasn’t beyond using a little magic to avoid travel delays.

Gustavo plans to check my blog often while at Rehab, so if anyone wants to send him a message of support, please feel free to do so in the comments section of this article.  I’m sure he would appreciate it.

Good luck, Gustavo!  I wish you well…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Genie, Tired Of His Dependence On The Bottle, Enters Rehab

  1. good for him – although, with wishes that probably shouldn’t have been granted, he’s going to need a lot of paper for his fearless and searching moral inventory. LOL!

  2. Jayde-Ashe says:

    This is awesome! Great play on words here, had me chuckling 🙂 I wish the genie all the best, although I’m sure he will have a tough time will all the wish-granting that no doubt happens when surrounded by recovering alcoholics in rehab.

    • Austin says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. Please feel free to read some more. I think Gustavo is going to try to keep his wish granting ability a secret…

  3. 32daisies says:

    I thought at first you said he was brought here by Pilates and I thought, I *knew* they were evil!!!

  4. That’s very brave of him. Life at the bottom of a bottle controls your life.

  5. kokkieh says:

    Tell Gustavo I’m so proud of him. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, after all. And may he be an example to other genies out there, both the magical and non-magical.

  6. raeme67 says:

    Too funny and love this line: “I almost said I wished I could be stronger for him, but I didn’t want to put him in a position where he had to grant my wish.”

  7. amb says:

    Loved this post. Makes me look at that genie from Aladdin in a whole new way … this explains a lot!

  8. ksbeth says:

    Tell him to stay away from robin leach with his champagne wishes, not a good influence right now

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