Read This Post And Add 10 IQ Points

AlbertI’ve never put much stock in IQ scores, Modern Philosophers.

I’m pretty sure I was tested more than once as a child, which probably means I did so poorly that I kept going back in hopes of doing better the next time.

To be honest, I have no idea what my IQ is, and quite frankly, I don’t really care.

I grew up with the albatross of being a smart, nerdy kid hanging around my neck.  That should be obvious by the fact that I not only just referenced The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but I also spelled “rime” correctly.

This might sound strange, but I wasn’t a big fan of being the smartest kid in the class.  I got picked on, teased, called names, ostracized (I was probably the only kid who could properly use that word in a sentence), and left out of most of the fun.

It didn’t help that I was incredibly scrawny and looked the part of the super nerd.  I understood that there were major benefits to being smart, but I also realized that it wasn’t helping me much socially.

Luckily, the bullies in my school never resorted to physical harm, so I never suffered a wedgie, got shoved into a locker, or arrived home with a black eye.

WiffleBut words hurt.  They carried a force that might not have left a mark on my skin, but definitely scarred my psyche.

I was the lonely kid who had to resort to playing by himself after school because no one wanted to hang out with me.  Of course, it didn’t help that my stepmother insisted I come right home after school and do my homework, while the other kids had fun and left the schoolwork until after dinner.

This lonely time was when I developed my talent as a writer.  I could imagine incredible stories of my being the star third baseman for the Yankees while I played wiffle ball alone in the driveway.

I could turn that same narrow driveway into the corridors of the Death Star and flee attacking stormtroopers while I searched for Princess Leia.

Yes, I had learned that words hurt, but I also came to discover what a powerful weapon they could be.

Sure, there was no way I could defend myself properly if the bullies decided to throw a punch and give me a beating.  But I could fight back with words.

Words because my greatest weapon.  They were the skinny nerd’s version of the Jedi’s elegant lightsaber.

KyloIf a bully tried to strike me down with his fists, I would defend myself with words and become more powerful than before.

I’d guess that Kylo Ren grew up with a lot of inner rage from being misunderstood, bullied, and different from the other kids.

Perhaps if he had used words, rather than turning to the Dark Side to battle his foes, the Solo Family would be spending a lot more happy time together.

After too many lonely, painful years, I learned how to balance my intelligence and my social awkwardness.  There was no need to be ashamed of my brains, but there was also no reason to go out of my way to flaunt my (maybe just a tad) high IQ.

I figured out that people weren’t threatened by intelligence if it was used to make them laugh.  The funny guy is always welcome at social gatherings, bullies aren’t going to pick on you if you can cut them down with words and make them look foolish, and the ladies really like someone who can make them giggle.

HermioneI’m not at all ashamed of my nerdy roots, Modern Philosophers.  In fact, I’m rather proud of them.  Isn’t this blog a celebration of my inner geek?

When I was a kid, I would’ve been afraid to wander around in a toga, but now I wear it with great pride.

Yes, I am smart, I use big words, and would still rather read a good book than drink the night away with the “cool kids”.

The big difference is that now, I realize there is nothing to be ashamed of about that.

I still don’t care what my IQ is.  That shouldn’t stop you from getting your IQ tested, Modern Philosophers, and this post did promise to add 10 IQ points to your score.

As always, I am a nerd of my word.  Simply present the below coupon to the party administering your IQ test, and 10 points will be added to your score…

Add 10 IQ PointsWhat’s the point of this blog post?  Don’t be afraid to be yourself.  It’s okay to be different, and you should embrace that difference rather than hiding it.  Use your uniqueness to your advantage.  Show the world something its never seen.  Leave an impression that won’t soon be forgotten.

In most cases, people bully because they are secretly threatened or intimidated by you.  Figure out how to exploit that.

Like what you read here?  Feel free to share it with your friends on social media.  Help spread the word of the nerd in the toga!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to Read This Post And Add 10 IQ Points

  1. ksbeth says:

    i agree about the reason behind bullying and it makes me so sad to read about those who have suffered because of them. bravo to you for using your words and your brains for good instead of evil!

  2. Pingback: Read This Post And Add 10 IQ Points | Michaelphelps1's Blog

  3. Nadia says:

    I can relate on so many levels, and not just the high IQ part. 🙂 I was a nerd, bullied, and like you, I learned to use words and humour as armour. I haven’t looked at it this way – I probably wouldn’t be a writer if it wasn’t for my childhood experiences. Long live the nerds.

  4. donedreaming says:

    Oh my goodness, I have a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye looking at the photo of you as a little boy. If only you could go back, give him a hug and reassure him things will be ok. The best revenge is to live a happy life 🙂

  5. JED says:

    Right there with you buddy, although it took me longer to learn to use my words and humor. I had a bad temper when I was little that never served me well and I had to learn to control that, but then my creative side took over. Appreciate the extra IQ points too. Can always use a few more…

  6. Such a great post, as per usual Mr. Austin! #NerdPower

  7. I was a partying musician, but also a sci fi nerd. My group of like friends would have readily accepted you into our fold. But of course, your IQ would have dropped at least 20 points.

  8. jaypochapin says:

    Another classic from the fingertips of Mod Phil! Go on with your bad self, man!

  9. The Hook says:

    Thanks, buddy… I feel smarter already!

  10. Austin, I can’t help but feel you hit the nail on the head here. Bullies feel inferior, so they resort to name calling and physical violence. And because you understand that, your IQ is infinitely superior to that of the average—even the above average—bully.

  11. I had much the same experiences at school, way back when – very geeky and targeted not just by the school bullies but by the teachers (I was left handed, a bad choice on my part which led to my being relentlessly hammered at by my primary school). End-game now in this age of social media, mobile computing etc? Geeks rule the world. Bwahahahahahahaha!

  12. Kim says:

    Nerds rule! Sorry. It’s entirely possible I’ve watched Revenge of the Nerds too many times.

    Sorry you went through all that, but glad you’ve grown up to be an awesome person and a hell of a writer.

    Also I, too, am left-handed. Lefties for the win!

  13. I always kind of liked nerds. I wasn’t exactly one, but I spent my childhood in my head. I spend quite a bit of time there, still. So maybe I qualify. Love your blog.

  14. sharonduerst says:

    I was shy. Sometimes still am. But maybe that’s just a cover for quiet. I have an active world in my brain! I wish I’d understood that better when I was younger! My thoughts need space and quiet to roam! Enjoyed your writing!

  15. Glad you found your word weaponry, Austin. Seems like you emerged the winner of that battle!

  16. Silly Mummy says:

    I was also the smart kid at school, but have never bothered to have my IQ tested! I wasn’t bullied, but I was shy at school and I was never one of the popular kids. I have always been proud of the fact that I never pretended to be stupider than I was, or anything that I wasn’t, to fit in. A lot of girls, in particular, do play down intelligence because boys often find it threatening, and that is such a shame. I have tended to use humour too, like you. I was friends mostly with boys at school, and humour was the way I interacted.

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