Not My Leap Day!

leap day, leap year, February 29, humor, Modern PhilosopherI don’t know about you, Modern Philosophers, but as far as I’m concerned, today is March 1.

All the calendars in the world can tell me it’s February 29, but I decline to accept that for personal and philosophical reasons.

And on the grounds that it is stupid and annoying.

I get that we need to add an extra day to the calendar every four years because our planet can’t quite complete a lap around the sun in exactly 365 days, but why do we put that twenty-fours in the worst month of Winter?

You don’t need to point out that February is the shortest month and could use the ego boost every four years.  February needs to embrace its identity, figure out how to use that to its advantage, and get on with its life.

Throwing a day at it is only encouraging February to be more of a whiner, and I refuse to be an enabler.

Let’s add that extra day to Spring!  Who wouldn’t love to spend April 31 at a baseball game, having a picnic in the park, or getting a little sun while reading on the porch?

leap day, leap year, February 29, humor, Modern PhilosopherApril 31 would boost national morale, give us an extra day in a season that’s already far too short, and remind February to stay the hell in its lane.

Winter is long enough.  I need it to be April, so that the 182 Days of Terror can be behind us and life can move forward.

February 29 delays March by a day, which means April is that much further out of reach.

Trust me, I am not taking this whole extra day of Winter thing well.  Do you want to know what I was doing before I sat down to write this post?

I was outside hurling chunks of ice into the street.

You heard me.  That’s how pissed off I am at Winter, February 29, and being told that I need to delay the arrival of Spring because Earth can’t complete a lap faster.

I was putting out the trash, and trying to break up some of the ice on the sidewalk with the heel of my sneaker.  The ice was breaking away in huge chunks, so I picked one of them up and tossed it into the street.

And, damn, didn’t that feel good!

leap day, leap year, February 29, humor, Modern PhilosopherAs a result, I slowly made my way down the sidewalk, breaking up the ice, and then tossing it gleefully into the street.  An added bonus was watching cars crush the ice chunks by driving over them.

Some passersby might have thought I’d finally lost it, but I would say it was some much needed therapy.

After all, February 29 is a special day, and it deserves its own unique tradition.  Perhaps Leap Day will become the day, every four years, that people finally snap from the oppression of a long, hard Winter and purge the Winter Blues from their system.

If that does become a thing, Modern Philosophers, just remember who invented it and where you first heard about it…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Not My Leap Day!

  1. beth says:

    let me have my leap!! )

  2. Gail says:

    Just think how February 29 birthday babies feel. They only get to have a birthday once every four years😊

  3. Lori says:

    Maybe you need to go for a run? Lol.

  4. markbialczak says:

    Happy March 1, Austin. I’m glad you didn’t mentionhow our Southern Hemisphere friends were enjoying their extra day of autumn. Let them appreciate it.

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