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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: life
An Open Plea To Heat Miser
Dear Heat Miser, As I’m sure your brother Snow Miser has informed you, I’ve been at war with him for a couple of decades over an incident that occurred while we were in college. I have long since tried to … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Heat Miser, heatwave, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
Time Travelers Wanted
I never look at the classifieds, Modern Philosophers. I already have a job that pays well, so there’s no need to go looking for anything else. To be honest, I’d hate to find a job that I love so much … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged classifieds, help wanted, Humor, job search, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Time Travel
6 Comments
Get The Hell Off My Lawn, Old Age!
I don’t know what kind of sadistic curse has been put on me, Modern Philosophers, but when I went to mow the lawn yesterday, I tweaked something in my back and have never been in such pain. It was bad … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged back pain, getting old, Humor, injury, introvert, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
14 Comments
When Loneliness Affects Your Self Worth
I make a lot of mistakes, Modern Philosophers. When they are pointed out to me, I get super embarrassed and then vow to never make them again so I don’t have to experience such humiliation in the future. I know … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged introvert, isolation, life, loneliness, mental health, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, Sarcasm, satire
13 Comments
A Guy Walks Into A Bank…
Those Modern Philosophers who are familiar with my work, know that when I set a story in a bank, that bank is going to get robbed. I blame it on my Dad’s working in a bank his whole life, and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged banking, Crazy Train, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Ozzy Osbourne, Sarcasm, satire, The Nite Show, writing
9 Comments
Too Stupid?
“Do you think I’m stupid?” Aaron’s question broke the silence, and caused Holly to almost drop her coffee. It was a peaceful Sunday morning along the river, and the best friends were seated on their favorite bench. “What kind of … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, happiness, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story
7 Comments
Blizzarding For The Seasonally Exhausted
I don’t know about you, Modern Philosophers, but I am so done with this winter. It has left me physically exhausted, mentally drained, and once again questioning my decision to willing live inside the universe’s most annoying snow globe. As … Continue reading
Losing My Frigidity
I am really starting to hate winter, Modern Philosophers. And for those smart asses who feel compelled to point out that I never should have moved to Maine if I hated winter, I will point out that I had a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coping skills, Humor, life, Maine, mental health, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, single life, winter
18 Comments
Rebooting the Franchise
“If life came with a Reset button, do you think you’d ever have the courage, or maybe the total lack of hope for your future, necessary to push it?” Aaron hit her with the heavy philosophical question after taking a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, Time Travel
18 Comments