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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: life
When Loneliness Affects Your Self Worth
I make a lot of mistakes, Modern Philosophers. When they are pointed out to me, I get super embarrassed and then vow to never make them again so I don’t have to experience such humiliation in the future. I know … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged introvert, isolation, life, loneliness, mental health, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, Sarcasm, satire
13 Comments
A Guy Walks Into A Bank…
Those Modern Philosophers who are familiar with my work, know that when I set a story in a bank, that bank is going to get robbed. I blame it on my Dad’s working in a bank his whole life, and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged banking, Crazy Train, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Ozzy Osbourne, Sarcasm, satire, The Nite Show, writing
9 Comments
Too Stupid?
“Do you think I’m stupid?” Aaron’s question broke the silence, and caused Holly to almost drop her coffee. It was a peaceful Sunday morning along the river, and the best friends were seated on their favorite bench. “What kind of … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, happiness, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story
7 Comments
Blizzarding For The Seasonally Exhausted
I don’t know about you, Modern Philosophers, but I am so done with this winter. It has left me physically exhausted, mentally drained, and once again questioning my decision to willing live inside the universe’s most annoying snow globe. As … Continue reading
Losing My Frigidity
I am really starting to hate winter, Modern Philosophers. And for those smart asses who feel compelled to point out that I never should have moved to Maine if I hated winter, I will point out that I had a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coping skills, Humor, life, Maine, mental health, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, single life, winter
18 Comments
Rebooting the Franchise
“If life came with a Reset button, do you think you’d ever have the courage, or maybe the total lack of hope for your future, necessary to push it?” Aaron hit her with the heavy philosophical question after taking a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, Time Travel
18 Comments
The Year of the Snow Monkey
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: An introverted writer with anxiety issues. Okay, those might not be the actual words of my least favorite Christmas song, but since I was born on the twelfth … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged birthday, food, friends, Happy Birthday, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
Thankful For What?
This couple knocked on my door tonight. They were dressed as Pilgrims. Full blown first Thanksgiving kind of garb. The guy had a clipboard, the woman just offered a smile. I’d normally tell strangers to get the hell off my … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Humor, introverts, life, Modern Philosopher, Pilgrims, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving
9 Comments
Updating My Culinary Passport
Someone once told me I was a very complicated person, Modern Philosophers. I know that sounds like an awesome compliment, but she meant it in a hurtful way. Her words confused me more than they offended me, however, because I … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Chinese food, easy going, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, personality traits, psychology, Sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Opening A Window To Change
As you probably know, Modern Philosophers, one of my core beliefs is that change is bad. Not only is it bad, but it is also horrifying and murder on the stress levels. The House on the Hill, which has served … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged change, embracing change, home improvements, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, money, new windows, Sarcasm, satire
11 Comments