Allergy Network Cancels Fall Schedule After Alarming Reaction By Focus Groups

Control roomThe Allergy Network, which was set to begin broadcasting original programs this Fall, has pulled the plug on those plans after alarming reactions by focus groups to the new shows.

The channel was going to air a mix of comedies, reality programs, and dramas.  A late night talk show was also in the works.

“We’re not exactly sure what happened,” Allergy Network President Brenda Watts told this Modern Philosopher.  “Every focus group started out well, with the audience laughing and applauding as we hoped, but before long, everyone was sneezing, coughing, having trouble breathing, and breaking out in weird rashes.”

Focus group members were taken to a local hospital for treatment and released.  No one was seriously injured, aside from network executives whose egos were badly bruised and dreams were crushed.

“I’ve never seen such an odd reaction to a network’s Fall slate,” one entertainment reporter told me as she sneezed repeatedly.  “I’ve heard of people reacting negatively to a particular show or an actor on a program, but this was like an outbreak of some sort and it happened more than once, and to every program screened.”

AllergyAllergy Network Executives aren’t ready to give up on their dreams quite yet.  “We’ll be back!” promised Katherine Jansen, the network’s VP of New Programming.  “We just hope the reaction is different next time.”

Or perhaps they should hope that their target audience develops a tolerance to whatever they have to offer…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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