The Devil Advocates

short story, flash fiction, The Devil, job interview, humor, Modern Philosopher“Are you ready for your big interview tomorrow?” The Devil asked as he put down the Sunday newspaper to give me his full attention.

As always, my guest was well-dressed in an impeccably tailored suit, the likes of which I wish I had in my closet for tomorrow’s interview.

“I guess,” I replied with a shrug.  “I don’t have my hopes up because things never seem to go my way at work.”

“You can’t go in there with such an attitude,” Lucifer advised.  “They are looking for you to be confident.  While I know work has been disappointing, this is an entirely different group of people and an opportunity to move on to something bigger, better, and more rewarding.”

“Which is exactly why I worry that things won’t go my way,” I answered glumly as I reached into the cooler for a bottle of Snapple.

“I could see to it that you get the promotion,” The Princess of Darkness assured me with a sly smile.  “It would be my pleasure to offer a very convincing professional preference.”

His smile morphed from sly to devilish, and a chill sprinted up and down my spine.

“Thank you for the generous, yet ominous offer, but I want to earn this promotion on my own merits, not because you poked and prodded the higher ups in my company with your pitchfork.  No offense,” I quickly added.

short story, flash fiction, The Devil, job interview, humor, Modern Philosopher“None taken,” Satan replied with a quick wave as he glanced over at the pitchfork that rested against the wall in the corner.  “Although, I simply planned to speak highly of your work ethic and leadership potential.  No need for weapons or threats.”

“So you were just going to advocate on my behalf?” I asked and laughed at my stupid joke.

To his credit, The Devil played it cool and adroitly maneuvered the conversation away from my ridiculous wordplay.

“I really enjoyed that short story you posted on the blog yesterday,” he complimented.  “Since I’m in your inner circle, I’m aware that the story was a teaser trailer of sorts for your screenplay that is close to getting the green light.  Have you made your readers aware of that fact?  I bet they’d enjoy being in on the secret.”

“I couldn’t exactly include that information on the post,” I explained after taking a long sip of Snapple.  “The story needs to look like a natural part of the blog.  I have, however, been telling readers as they comment on the post.”

short story, flash fiction, Watching You, nightmares, Modern Philosopher“Then let me advocate for you yet again,” Lucifer volunteered.  “Dear blog readers, you must check out Austin’s short story because it is part of the marketing plan for his upcoming film.  Please read it and then share it all over social media to create buzz for the project.  Here’s the link: Drive All Night.  I’m asking nicely.  Don’t make me come after you with a pitchfork!”

I looked over at The Prince of Darkness, dumbfounded by his bold takeover of my blog, but hesitant to say anything.

Not because I was scared of him, but because I was hoping that his ploy would work.

“I might need to hire you as my agent,” I said with a smile, but not at all joking.

“Just say the word on either job, my friend, and I’ll be there for you,” Satan promised.

Who needs friends in high places when you’ve got one in Hell?

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Devil Advocates

  1. grannyK says:

    good luck! I hope things go your way!

  2. The Hook says:

    “Who needs friends in high places when you’ve got one in Hell?”
    Bloody brilliant.

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