Satisfied? The Rolling Stones Agree To Correct Grammar In Their Biggest Hit

StonesApparently, the word nerds CAN get satisfaction, Modern Philosophers!

In a stunning bit of news that is sure to resonate through the Rock World, The Rolling Stones announced today that they are finally going to give in to peer pressure and correct the grammatical errors in one of their greatest hits.

It is no secret that grammar geeks have been harassing rock groups for years to essentially change their tune.  “Billions of people look at these musicians as gods, heroes, and the pinnacle of what one can achieve by working on his writing skills,” declared Simon Blott, the leader of Fans Against Nasty Grammar (FANG).  “Our children grow up repeating their lyrics, and we are of the mind that those lyrics should be grammatically correct.”

Blott and his group have been petitioning bands for over a decade to clean up their acts, and this is the first time they’ve had success.  “We came really close with some of the rappers,” Blott told me, “but in the end, they felt that the words wouldn’t be as powerful if the imperfections were removed.”

“I ain’t got nothing against that bloke and his mates,” admitted one of the Stones’ publicists, “but they gotta know there ain’t nothing they’re gonna say that’s gonna make Mick and the boys write any gooder.  Things’ll happen for a reason, there’s no way nothing that happened here was cuz those do gooder dictionary thumpers got their panties all up in a bunch and made it so they ain’t the words of this song no more, you get me?”

This Modern Philosopher still gets headaches every time he tries to edit the above paragraph, but I do understand what the man is trying to say.  So why did the band finally decide to change the lyrics?  Let’s ask the man himself…

teacher“I Do Not Receive Any Satisfaction just moves me,” Mick Jagger told me via Skype.  “It makes me want to dance, it makes me want to rock, and it makes me want to set a proper example for future generations of songwriters.  This is my legacy.  I want history to remember me as a man who didn’t always choose to mangle his mother tongue”

A rep from the band’s label told me a slightly different story.  “This is going to make the guys filthy rich all over again.  Think about how many copies of Satisfaction 2.0 they’re going to sell.  Imagine all the sold out concerts they’re going to have to play just so that 50 years of fans can gather to hear a new take on an old classic.  It’s genius.  I don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner.”

What do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Do you find yourself correcting the grammar when you sing some of your favorite songs?  Are you okay with the language being mangled if the end product makes you want to boogie?  What songs do you think need to be corrected next?

I look forward to your Deep Thoughts on this.  Rock on, Modern Philosophers!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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47 Responses to Satisfied? The Rolling Stones Agree To Correct Grammar In Their Biggest Hit

  1. denmother says:

    Should someone tell Mick that his legacy is his lips, not necessarily what comes out of them?

  2. These academians seem “Dazed and Confused” – Led Zep

  3. SocietyRed says:

    Bovine-excrement…

  4. yourothermotherhere says:

    “I Ain’t Got No Satisfaction” works for me…

  5. jrosenberry1 says:

    Grammar-wise I am more concerned about the Kinks … especially Lola. “Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man / But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man / And so is Lola ….” Worse than bad grammar is unclear grammar! And Lola … well, he’d agree with you. Or she. She’d agree with you. Whatever.

  6. Renchick says:

    The song Fergalicious has always bugged me when they begin spelling “tasty”…”T to the A to the S, T, E, Y, girl you tasty…”. I think they could have made it work with the correct spelling. Perhaps using a Snoopism to fill the extra space – T to the A to the S Tizzy or something like that.

    Also – how about “Lie Down Sally” instead of “Lay Down Sally”? I kind of like that one the way it is, though. Perhaps we should just consider use of bad grammar in songs as artistic license? 🙂

  7. heysugarsugar says:

    I giggled all through this post..again you have made my day start laughing 🙂 Mick and the lads Rock..anyway tis nothin wrong with ya spelling like da Mick an’ da boys whatcha think? :):) ohhh is that gangsta? I dunno ! lol great post x

  8. filbio says:

    LOL! Something tells me that Simon Blott, the leader of Fans Against Nasty Grammar (FANG), seems to have way too much time on his hands.

  9. Geo Sans says:

    haha .. they didn’t have spell-check in the 60s ;P

  10. Austin says:

    Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:

    My friend Dave went to see the Rolling Stones the other night, so that inspired me to dig up this one from the archives. I hope reading it brings you great satisfaction…

  11. April Fools has come and gone already, right? Oh please say it ain’t so!

  12. Reblogged this on sincerelylife and commented:
    loveee this

  13. you always make me think–sometimes it hurts–but I am still thinking – lol

  14. Hollie says:

    Nothing gives me satisfaction like proper grammar! I think my students would get more satisfactory grades if they took a lesson from Mr. Jagger and corrected some grammar!

    • Austin says:

      Maybe a fun extra credit assignment would be to have them pick a song of their liking and correct the grammar in it.. 🙂

      • Hollie says:

        I’ll keep that in mind for the summer semester…the finals are already turned in for this semester and most have either earned good grades or totally flopped to the point that extra credit would be of no gain.

      • Austin says:

        Keep it in mind, It would be fun!

  15. In other news, John Lydon goes pop over concerns of his public image.

  16. queenlorene says:

    I wish they would have totally re-worked the song with something like ” I cant stop the constipation”, which is both grammatically correct and of interest to their original listeners, as their crowd is crawling into the poo-obsessed age range. 🙂

  17. I like me some good grammar, but I really see not reason to f*Ck with art.

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