Why We Need Stricter Water Gun Control Laws

wg 1“Water guns don’t kill people, but people do drown.”  — Anonymous

I try not to get political on this blog, Modern Philosophers, unless it’s to mock politicians.

Every once in a while, though, a hot button topic comes up that I cannot ignore.

Let’s talk Water Gun Control.

wg 4I am well aware that the right to bear arms is set forth in the Constitution.  However, before you start screaming about how I’ll have to pry your Water Gun out of your soaked, pruned fingers, let me hit you with this Deep Thought…

The first water gun was patented in 1896.

That’s more than a century after our forefathers ratified the Constitution.

So when they granted American citizens the right to bear arms, they might have been talking about a modern militia, they might have been talking about basic self defense, but they were NOT talking about Water Guns.

Argue all you want, super soakers, but there’s no Constitutional basis for your argument!

wg 3As someone who nearly drowned twice in my youth, I am a strong supporter of Water Gun Control, Modern Philosophers.

Hell, I’d be all for regulating the rain if that was possible.  Water is our enemy, and it needs to be better controlled.

Anyone, regardless of age, can legally purchase a Water Gun in the Untied States.  No background check is done.  There is no wait period.  Purchasers are not subjected to any sort of mental health evaluation.

The ammunition for these weapons of mass saturation is even easier to obtain.  Water can be bought without any identification, or a need to state the reason for the purchase.

The Government, in a move I still do not understand, has made water available for free.

For FREE, Modern Philosophers!

If a Water Gun owner wants to manufacture his own ammunition, the formula for creating water is not only readily available online and in books, but it is also taught to our children in middle school Science class!

wg 2How has it come to this, Modern Philosophers?  When did America revert to the Wild Wild West with gunslingers on every front lawn and in every pool around the country?

Water Gun owners walk down the street making no effort to hide the fact that they are armed.  They don’t need to apply for a concealed weapon permit if they choose to be secretive about the fact that they are packing.

Even our law enforcement agencies are powerless to keep American citizens from arming themselves and bringing Water Guns into heavily populated areas.

Why is Water Gun Control not taken more seriously?  How many more people have to be soaked to the skin, have a perfect hair style ruined, or made to look like they peed their pants before something is done?

americaI love this country, Modern Philosophers, and I do not want it to revert to a police state by any means, but the Water Gun problem is completely out of control.

It’s time to enforce some sort of Water Gun Control Laws.  I will not live in fear any longer.

This is my country, too.

You might have the right to bear arms, but I also have the right to not live in fear of having my toga soaked to the point that you can see my nipples.

None of us want to see that.  Trust me.

God Bless America!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Why We Need Stricter Water Gun Control Laws

  1. Josh Wrenn says:

    This made me laugh and want to get in a water gun fight!

  2. patricemfoster says:

    Water Gun Control Laws in Snowy Maine. What Politics have to do with this …Think its just nostalgia for summer pass time maybe? All about “Safety” get it !

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