More Thoughts On A Walk

Thoughts on a Walk, life, humor, philosophy, Aaron Judge, Modern PhilosopherThe blog’s business managers made an unannounced visit to The House on the Hill today, Modern Philosophers.  Too many suits gathered in one place makes me anxious, so I was eager to get them on their way as quickly as humanly possible.

They told me that the blog’s numbers are way up since I wrote my first Thoughts on a Walk post (an idea for which they took credit), and they implored me to write another.

Since it was the only way to get them to leave, I agreed to post one tonight.  After all, I planned to sit out on the porch and read after my walk, so why not write instead?

Besides, the business managers always leave behind stacks of money and cases of Snapple, so I feel guilty not giving them what they want.  Catholic Guilt is still haunting me decades after getting paroled from Catholic School.

Here are some of the thoughts that rumbled through my head tonight on my walk…

Thoughts on a Walk, life, humor, philosophy, Aaron Judge, Modern PhilosopherWhy do they call it an air conditioner?  Conditioner is that mystery liquid shampoo companies have brainwashed us into thinking we need so we spend twice as much on hair care products.

How is this device conditioning in the air?  It’s chilling it.  Making it colder and more comfortable.  So why not call it the air chiller?  The arctic blast?  The cold-o-meter?

I’ve never agreed with the term “air conditioner” and that probably explains why I refuse to buy one for The House on the Hill.

Thoughts on a Walk, life, humor, philosophy, Aaron Judge, Modern PhilosopherWhy do I love rain, but loathe snow?  I took this photo of the storm clouds gathering over The House on the Hill as I concluded my walk, and I couldn’t wait to scurry over onto that gorgeous porch to write as I enjoyed the storm.

Rain and snow are like cousins, or maybe even half-siblings, right?  So why does rain get all the love, while snow is the redheaded stepchild of weather conditions?

I know I hate shoveling snow and am scared of driving in it, but shouldn’t driving in a downpour frighten me, too?  How come it doesn’t?

I’m going to have to see a meteorpsychologist about this one for sure…

Thoughts on a Walk, life, humor, philosophy, Aaron Judge, Modern PhilosopherAaron Judge is definitely my new favorite Yankee.  After Derek Jeter retired, I wondered who would take over that position.

Growing up, it was Reggie Jackson, then Don Mattingly, and then Jeter.  I was hoping that one of this crop of Baby Bombers would turn out to be Yankee Numero Uno for me, and the titleholder has definitely revealed himself.

Not only is Judge a tremendous baseball player, but he is also an amazing human being.  He is so humble, constantly smiling, truly enjoys playing the game, always puts the team first, won’t speak poorly of another player, and is amazing to the fans.

And, man, can #99 hit!  I was watching the game the afternoon he launched a 496 foot rocket into the far reaches of Yankee Stadium.  And he hit four shots over 500 feet while winning the Home Run Derby on Monday night.  Wow!

I love watching the Yankees this season, and Aaron Judge is a huge part of that.  I haven’t been this excited about my favorite team in years.  Go Yankees!

Thoughts on a Walk, life, humor, philosophy, Aaron Judge, Modern PhilosopherWhat’s with this new trend of my neighbors leaving chairs along my running route so that I can sit down and relax when my legs need a break?

The above pictured chair turned up in three different places over the weekend.  Tonight, there was a second chair a couple of blocks from The House on the Hill.

It is so much easier for me to push myself a little harder when I know the folks in the neighborhood are looking out for me.  Thanks, guys!

Thoughts on a Walk, life, humor, philosophy, Aaron Judge, Modern PhilosopherWhy do people act like I have a superpower just because I’ve been able to focus on fitness and manage to lose a ton of weight in the process?

I’m so tired of hearing people say, “I’m not like you, Austin” and “I can’t do what you do” and “I wish I had the dedication”.

That’s such bull$%^&.  I was disgustingly overweight, frighteningly out of shape, and had absolutely no desire to do anything about it.

And then one day, I got up off my lazy ass and went for a run.  Yeah, I struggled.  Sure, I hated it, but the next day, I went for another run.

Before long, I had a little schedule.  I had goals.  The desire I didn’t previously had suddenly began burning in my belly.

It’s not hard to walk away from the whoopie pies, or to go for a walk instead of sitting down to watch TV.

Getting up a little earlier every morning is a pain at first, but you get used to it.  Trust me, it gets even easier once you start to see the results.

I’m not doing anything special.  I just chose to stop being lazy and be better at life.

Anyone can do it!

Thoughts on a Walk, life, humor, philosophy, Daisy Ridley, Modern PhilosopherWould Rey be impressed by the new, improved me?  I think she would be.  She’d see a little bit of herself in me, and realize I was someone she could be comfortable with the more she got to know me.

Some nights, when my legs are just too tired, I search my feelings, focus on my Jedi training, and tell myself that if I walk for five more minutes, Rey will fall for me.

It’s my own version of the Jedi Mind Trick.  I just hope Rey can sense my presence and is on her way to find me…

Those are my thoughts, and I refuse to alter them in any manner!  Hope you enjoyed your trip through my mind, and I implore you not to leave behind any messes up there.

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to More Thoughts On A Walk

  1. markbialczak says:

    You’e conditioning your mind perfectly, Austin, and the body is following. Way to go, dodging the street couches.

  2. Kelly Welch says:

    I agree with getting off your ass and not being lazy, where people say “I just can’t do it, I don’t know how you do it”. I’m like we are all freaking humans made of the same thing anyone can do it. It just take the will power I guess.

  3. The Hook says:

    Kep walkin’, buddy – this was brilliant!

  4. Pingback: More Thoughts On A Walk – reframing trauma

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