I was lost in my thoughts of The Birthday Girl when a knock on the door snapped me back to reality. I wasn’t exactly ready for reality, Modern Philosophers, because my imagination is a wonderful place in which to get lost on a Saturday afternoon.
There was another knock, so I got up to answer it, and found it to be Rachel, the Beautiful Archangel. Okay, I don’t think the “beautiful” is part of her official title, but it really should be. The brunette beauty smiled at me from the other side of the screen door.
“Don’t worry, Austin, God isn’t mad,” she reassured me and smiled again, this time revealing the dimple on her perfect right cheek. “In fact, I’ve come bearing gifts.”
When I finally managed to avert my eyes from her gorgeous, angelic face and tilt my head down to her chest, I discovered that Rachel was holding a cake.
“Angel food cake, of course,” she explained as she entered my home. “I know it’s someone’s birthday, and you’re missing her a great deal, so I thought I would bring some cake and help distract you for a bit.”
This was a new one. Usually, God sent the Archangels to deliver a message that I was then to pass on to mankind via my blog. No pressure. Just come up with something witty, funny, and Deep Thought provoking enough to ensure that enough people read it and did as God wanted.
If I failed, the Big Guy would probably wipe out the human race. Like I said, no pressure.
Rachel either read my thoughts or my body language, so she put down the cake, took my hand (sending goosebumps marching up and down the entirety of my body), and led me to the couch. Once we were seated, she looked at me with her big, brown eyes and offered a soothing smile. “Trust me, Austin, there’s nothing wrong. I’m really here for you.”
I swallowed really hard because I was completely unnerved in her presence. She was the most beautiful creature ever created and my heart rate automatically doubled whenever I was within an arm length of her.
“You’re upset because it’s your true love’s birthday, and this is the first time since you met that you aren’t together on her special day,” Rachel told me exactly as if she were rummaging through my thoughts. “God wants you to be happy, so He asked me to visit, bring you some cake, and assure you that all will be well.”
I tried to form a mental image of God giving me the thumbs up and telling me to “Hang in there, Buster”. All I could think of was the Buddy Christ from “Dogma”.
Rachel smiled again. “Let me assure you that God didn’t have to twist my arm to come see you,” Rachel surprised me with that comment. “I enjoy our time together, and I prefer to see you when I’m not here passing on a message of doom and gloom.”
“Eat cake and be happy!” certainly wasn’t a doom and gloom message. I wish all of God’s messages focused on my eating comfort food.
“Love has a way of sorting itself out,” Rachel promised me and handed me a piece of cake, even though she hadn’t gotten up to retrieve the cake or gone into the kitchen for plates, a knife, or forks. Archangels clearly have skills.
I nodded because I would’ve agreed with anything Rachel said, but I honestly did think she was right.
“She loves you very much, and misses you more than she knows how to convey,” the Archangel informed me. “Remember, you’ve always been the one who’s good with words and expressing feelings. She’s asked you repeatedly to have faith in her, and I think a good Catholic boy like you knows a thing or two about faith, right?”
I nodded. Rachel knew me extremely well. She settled me. She understood how to get a message across. And so I ate cake, stared at the beautiful creature next to me on the couch, and thought about how much I loved The Girl Who Is My Angel.
This was turning out to be a much better day than I’d originally expected…