The Night Snow Miser Almost Broke Me

Surrendering with White FlagTonight was the night Snow Miser almost broke me, Modern Philosophers.  I had out the white flag and was ready to wave it in surrender…

Monday did not end up being the jolly, merry, joy to the world day I was so sure it was going to be.

And I blame it all on that ice imp, Snow Miser!

An icy rain fell all day, and when I left work, I had to blast the defroster and use a little elbow grease and an ice scraper to clear the ice blanket off the Zombie Car.

I made it home fine.  I only encountered trouble when I arrived at The House on the Hill.  It took me an hour and a half yesterday to clear the snow and ice from my long, steep driveway.  I had a suspicion that I would have some difficulty reaching the garage tonight, but I promised Zombie Car I would make an attempt so it didn’t have to stay outdoors in the frigid Maine weather.

Snow Miser Snow Miser had other plans.  Old Ice Head and I have been mortal enemies for years, but I was unprepared for what he had in store for me.

The first attempt to get up the driveway ended when Zombie Car got about a third of the way up, and just slid back down towards the street and got wedged in a snowbank.

I managed to get out of that by only using a basic set of curses and pounding on the accelerator until the snow released Zombie Car from its clutches.

I circled the block and decided to park in the public lot up the street.  I don’t like leaving Zombie Car out at night, but I wasn’t getting up my driveway tonight.

The first attempt at getting into the public lot ended with Zombie Car wedged into the snow dumped there by the city snow plow.  This time, I couldn’t get the car out by just flooring it.  I had to get out, push Zombie Car, shovel behind the wheels, and let loose with a much more advanced tirade of curses.

snow carThe whole time I’m hearing: “He’s Mr. White Christmas, he’s Mr. Snow…”

The second attempt to climb the driveway ended in the same manner as the first, but this time, Zombie Car was wedged more firmly into the snowbank.

I couldn’t escape on my own, so I went to get my neighbors.  Soon there were four of us shoveling and sprinkling salt behind my back wheels.

More singing in my head:  “Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch.  I’m too much!”

It was time for assault #2 on the public parking lot.  This time, my neighbors shoveled out the snow at the entrance while I drove around the block.  Two of the neighbors were already parked in the lot, but they have massive cars with huge tires.  Zombie Car looks pale and sickly next to those vehicles.

Attempt #2 ended with Zombie Car stuck in the snow.  The guys pushed me out, I didn’t curse, and “He’s Mr. Icicle, he’s Mr. Ten Below…”

ice carThe third attack (yes, it felt like a battle at this point and I was losing miserably) resulted in my getting the Zombie Car into a spot in the lot, but only after all three neighbors helped push me across the ice.

Once Zombie Car was parked, we worked at chipping out a path in the ice so that I could escape in the morning.

I’m safe and sound in the living room now.  Banky is purring on the couch next to me.  I sent an email to The Girl Who Melts My Heart because that always helps my mood.

I’m grateful to have such wonderful neighbors, and very fortunate that I survived a morale crushing battle like the one I faced tonight.  It’s times like this when I realize how important friends are, and how blessed I am to be healthy and have a roof over my head.

Nice try, Snow Miser, but this story has a happy ending.  Happy Holidays!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Night Snow Miser Almost Broke Me

  1. ksbeth says:

    you won this round, hands down!

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