Batman Vs Daredevil On Hold Until Studio Perfects Ben Affleck Clone

benThe big announcement out of Hollywood today is that the potential blockbuster movie for the Summer of 2017, Batman Versus Daredevil, has been put on hold due to lack of advancements in cloning.

According to the studio that’s financing the film, production cannot move forward until scientists figure out how to perfectly clone Ben Affleck.

“The whole hook to the flick is that Ben is going to play both Batman and Daredevil,” studio spokesman Stanley Knights explained to this Modern Philosopher.  “Ben is the only actor who can truly bring both superheroes to life, and we refuse to settle for anyone else in the roles.”

Affleck is currently starring as Batman in the highly anticipated Batman Versus Superman.  He also appeared as Daredevil in the film that is perhaps best known for how hot his future wife looked in her Superhero costume.

“The science is almost there,” Knights assured me as he showed me storyboards of Affleck battling himself while dressed as the two comic book titans.  “We are not only working with the top scientists in Hollywood, but also with the Special Effects team behind Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.”

Ben BatmanBecause of the science involved in cloning an Oscar winner, the film’s budget is reportedly through the roof.  Knights, however, was quick to deny those rumors.

“How can the budget possibly be out of control when we only have to pay one actor to pay both leading roles?” the studio suit challenged with troubling logic.

While the rest of Hollywood appears to be laughing at the practicality of cloning Affleck for the film, social media was exploding with fan boys and girls, who cannot wait to see the flick.  The really interesting part of that, though, was that the excitement wasn’t coming only from movie and comic book fans.

“Batman Versus Daredevil is a smash with the science community,” Knights beamed as he showed me a long list of tweets attributed to people with letters after their names.  “I bet you the movie brings down the house at Clone Con the year it is released.”

What does the Screen Actors Guild think about the use of clones in motion pictures?  Apparently, they’re not ready to share those thoughts with the world.  The group refused to return my calls seeking a comment for this article.

Ben DaredevilPerhaps they need to clone some of their staff so they have enough people to get back to bloggers on a deadline.

Knights saved the most intriguing news for last, Modern Philosophers.

“The other delay in starting production is that our director has yet to be created,” he told me with a sly smile.

Does that mean what I think it means, Stanley?

“We just closed the deal to have a Ben Affleck clone direct the film,” he revealed with a huge smile on his frighteningly tan face.  “Ben was going to direct it himself, but then he realized that doing so would take away from his acting performance.  So we checked with the scientists, and they assured us that it would be just as easy to create two clones.”

Why not just round out the production crew with Ben Affleck clones, too?  I’m sure the other Hollywood unions would not be down with that idea.

As long as cloning technology and science continues to evolve, Knights guesses that Batman Versus Daredevil will hit the big screen by Christmas 2018.

“Just in time to qualify for the Oscars,” he reminded me with a wink.

ben oscarSo what do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Are you excited for Batman Versus Daredevil?  Do you see an Oscar for Ben or one of his clones?  Should cloning be used in movies?  Is there another star you’d like to see cloned for for an upcoming flick?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Batman Vs Daredevil On Hold Until Studio Perfects Ben Affleck Clone

  1. D. Parker says:

    Are you just trying to give us nightmares?

  2. I remember, there was a time, in 2002, when I was obsessed with this man. Ben Affleck, that is. So at one point in my life, I was jealous of Jennifer Lopez. I was eleven.

  3. adamjasonp says:

    Oh, no, a clone race of crappy actors. (Sorry, Afleck fans.) Hey, Austin, how does it feel to hit 666,000 views?

  4. E.L. Wicker says:

    Lol! This is hilarious! 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s