Gimme That Free Ice Cream!

Gimme That Free Ice Cream! | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherOne of the best things, if not the greatest thing, about being a kid, Modern Philosophers, is all the free stuff.

There are no bills to pay and no family to support, which means there is no need for a job.  Just all the time in the world to run wild in the streets, get into trouble, and explore strange new lands (aka the woods).

When you’re a child, you don’t have to pay for anything.  Food, clothing, toys, toiletries, and basically anything you want or need just magically appears free of charge.

Why the hell were we in such a rush to grow up?

I think it had something to do with wanting to stay up later…

As a adult, virtually nothing is free.  We have to work.  All the time.  We don’t want to stay up late because we’re too damn exhausted from working all day.

And the bills…the bills never stop coming.  I’ve actually considered pulling my mailbox out of the ground and hiding it so the mailman can’t deliver any more bills.

Of course, he’d just dump them on the porch and I’d have this weird hole in the front lawn from where the mailbox used to be.


So what in the world was my point?

Oh, yeah.

We got free ice cream at work today!  Woo hoo!

Smile, you're on Candid Camera!For five, gleeful, sugar soaked minutes, I felt like a kid again.  In fact, I was as happy as the handsome young man in this photo.

Every year, the company that owns the building where I work throws an Ice Cream Social for all the tenants.

It was the perfect day for it, too.  Almost 80 degrees.  The sun was bright.  Work was really challenging.  We all needed a break.

Coldstone Creamery provided the goods.

I had peanut butter ice cream.  Yum!  Didn’t stop there, though.  When it’s free, you pile on.  Everyone, regardless of age, knows that important rule.

I added Reese’s Pieces, chocolate chips, sprinkles, and hot fudge.

Yes, it was amazing.

Yes, I gobbled it down way too quickly.

No, I do not regret any of it.

You don’t get much for free as an adult, and you also don’t get much appreciation, so it was quite nice to feel appreciated while devouring my free ice cream.

Still a kid at heart...Being an adult still does pretty much bite, except for the fact that girls grew up to be not so icky.

I wish there were more free stuff and less of a need to work, but I guess adulthood is what you make of it, Modern Philosophers.

If you choose to be young at heart, then maybe being all grown up can have its advantages.  I mean what kid can ever decide to have chocolate cake for dinner and stay up late to watch the NBA Finals on a school night?

One thing that is free is advice, so here’s some for you: Find some time every day to do something childish.  No one’s going to ground you for it, and it very well might slow down the aging process.

If that doesn’t work, just eat a lot of ice cream.  If you can get it for free, even better!

What do you miss most about being a kid?  If you could hang out with childhood you for a few hours, what advice about growing up would you give yourself?  If you were offered free ice cream, what flavor would you want?

You know what else is free?  Following me on Pinterest!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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21 Responses to Gimme That Free Ice Cream!

  1. ksbeth says:

    i think that’s great and i still eat ice cream and play with toys, and watch kid’s shows and read kid’s books and…

  2. grannyK says:

    I earn a living playing with kids. It is my job to play dress up, trains, blocks, color and play on a playground. I get a snack every day, too! Unfortunately, the job also comes with diapers. Thirty years straight of changing diapers. Now that I am getting older, I fear I will go from changing the diapers of kids to changing my own! haha!!

  3. The Cutter says:

    Free Cold Stone at work? BEST WORK DAY EVER!

    My office usually has an ice cream day in June, but I have had no word of it yet.

  4. The Hook says:

    I miss nothing… I’m still a kid!

  5. The Chaos Realm says:

    Uh, having no conscience? LOL (Probably exploring, and having outdoor adventures). Ice cream: I like the vanilla ice cream with the little black specks in it.

  6. I am unclear on this question about flavors. Are you insinuating that there are flavors other than chocolate, double chocolate, and death by chocolate? If there are such flavors, why? I can’t believe you blew free ice cream on peanut butter. I think you know I’m a bit disappointed in you.

  7. Joseph Nebus says:

    I’m not sure what the most useful advice I could give the young version of me would be. I think I would warn, though, that every single movie ever made about a circus is like twenty minutes of pretty neat stunts and an hour-plus of boring plot about how they aren’t making enough money to stay open. I don’t know why Hollywood figures the most interesting part of circus life is the challenge of keeping adequate credit reserves and asset liquidity, but there you go. I’d save so much time waiting for the good parts of circus movies.

  8. I can’t say I miss being a kid. I mostly like being an adult because I don’t have to eat vegetables (full disclosure: I eat a lot of vegetables, but, you know, good ones, not canned peas and carrots). But ice cream? Oh yes, yum. My husband is getting me some now. Yay. Glad you had a fun day at work.

  9. Sheila Moss says:

    Sounds delicious. See what you’ve done? Now I’m hungry for a decadent ice-cream treat.

  10. A says:

    Free ice cream?! Now that is something to celebrate!!! If they had pistachio that’s what I would get, but most places don’t have pistachio so I would probably get mint chocolate chip 🙂
    The thing I miss most about being a kid is NOT HAVING BILLS!!!!!! I think you’re right about getting rid of the mailbox, though. The mailman would probably just throw them on the front porch – total bummer.

  11. Pingback: Meet & Greet – Summer Traditions Style | A Texan's View of Upstate New York

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