Purchased at The Gap by The Girl Who Moved Away, the most unique thing about this ugly sweater was that it wasn’t ugly at all.
The Modern Philosopher, who adored the sweater because it was bought for him by someone he loved, jokingly referred to it as “Christmas Krueger” because of its eerie resemblance to the one worn by the star of the A Nightmare on Elm Street films
Only the stripes on this one were red and green, and the person wearing it never haunted your dreams with homicidal intent.
A few years ago, very close to Christmas, The Modern Philosopher proudly wore his new sweater to work. He thought it was quite fashionable, it looked good on him, and he wanted The Girl With The Adorable Dimple to know how much he cherished her gift.
Unfortunately, The Modern Philosopher shared an office with a coworker who was infamous for speaking her mind.
At some point during the course of the day, she looked over at our hero and told him, “That’s one ugly sweater”.
The Girl Who Bought The Sweater happened to be in the office at the time, flirting with The Modern Philosopher because he was handsome and flirting was much more fun than doing boring office work, and she opened her big, brown eyes in surprise.
There was no arguing with the outspoken coworker, though, so she kept her mouth closed, whispered to The Modern Philosopher that it looked great on him, and promised to show him just how much she liked the way he looked once they got home.
As a result, every year for the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party at work, The Modern Philosopher takes Christmas Krueger out of the closet and wears it to the office.
He knows his sweater isn’t ugly, and is relieved every year when it doesn’t win the prize, but he likes to wear it because it reminds him of a love that meant the world to him.
Additionally, so many people at the office miss The Girl Who Moved Away, so hearing The Modern Philosopher tell the fairy tale of The Ugly Sweater That Wasn’t Ugly at the party reminds them of their friend and how much fun it was to work with her.
Now that the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party is done, the sweater has been returned to its hanger in the seldom used closet at The House on the Hill.
Or until The Modern Philosopher puts it on because he misses The Girl Who Bought Him The Sweater, and wants to feel close to her again.
Hopefully, our hero and his sweater live happily ever after…
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