June Bug

“I cannot believe it’s already June,” Holly said with a sigh as she carefully stretched her arms over her head so as to not spill her coffee.

It was the first Sunday in June, and the best friends were seated on their favorite bench next to the river.  It was a gorgeous day, but Aaron was still a grumpy old fart.

“Why don’t you believe it?” he caught her by surprise with his snappy response.  “All my life, June has followed May.  It’s just the natural order of things.  Why are you so caught off guard by the fact that about ninety-five days into the year, it’s June?”

Holly took a long sip of her coffee and stared at him.  She was giving him time to apologize, change his attitude, or get a running head start before she pounced on him to kick his obnoxious ass.

Unsurprisingly, Aaron chose none of those options.

short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“Unless I missed a memo, time continues to pass at the same rate,” he continued after pausing for a long sip of Snapple to fuel this rant.  “There are still twenty-four hours in a day, sixty minutes in an hour, and sixty seconds in a minute.  So to imply that time has moved any quicker, thereby stunning you into accepting that it is, in fact, June 5, is preposterous!”

“Are you finished?” she asked calmly as she placed her coffee cup next to her on the bench.

“That depends,” he replied.  “Are you done making stupid comments?”

Holly rolled her eyes.  Most days, she could handle whatever nonsense spilled out of Aaron’s mouth.  Truth be told, his wild rants usually entertained her.

Today, however, was different.  She wasn’t in the mood to sit there and take it.

“Aren’t you the one who’s always rambling on about time travel and how it would affect, and possibly even compress the current time line for those simply living their lives?” Holly challenged.

“Don’t bother answering that,” she quickly advised.  “It was a rhetorical question.  You see, I know that you ramble on incessantly about time travel because you did so on our one and only date.  In fact, it was a leading factor in my deciding that a second date wasn’t necessary.”

Aaron stared at her without blinking.  He was like a deer caught in the headlights of his best friend’s anger, and he didn’t know how to react.

When she pulled out the big gun, aka their date, he knew he was in for major trouble.

time travel, best friends, Modern Philosopher“I apologize for jumping down your throat earlier,” he said softly because he did not want to startle the angry bear that sat next to him.  “I was completely out of line.”

Holly sipped her coffee and stared at him.

Her icy glare made Aaron so uncomfortable that he shifted his position on the bench.

“It’s quite possible that time travelers are at work around us without our knowing about it,” he continued.  “If that is the case, it very well could make the passage of time feel truncated to us.  So you very well might be surprised to look at a calendar and see that it’s already June.”

“Just don’t let it happen again,” she replied sternly.

When she lowered her coffee cup, however, there was a smile on her beautiful face.

Aaron let out a sigh of relief.

“When I get home, I’m going to work on my time machine,” he informed her.  “First place I’m going whenever it’s done is five minutes ago so that this conversation never takes place.”

“Oh, it will still take place,” Holly corrected him.  “The difference is you’re not going to be a total dick about my opening statement the second time around.”

“Agreed,” he answered with a smile.  “Second trip might be back to our date so that I never mention time travel.”

Holly nodded.  “Sounds like an excellent plan…”

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to June Bug

  1. kristianw84 says:

    Who knew Holly could be so fiesty?! I like this side of her!

    I have a theory as to why time seems to pass more quickly as we age, however, in Aaron’s defense, he’s not wrong about the logistics of time. But, when did Aaron get so logical? Or is it only in a crisis situation that he doesn’t think logically? No wonder Holly needs a handbook! 🤣 At least he’s smart enough to know when to apologize to his best friend! 😁

    • Austin says:

      Feel free to share your theories here. Are you a Time Lord?

      • kristianw84 says:

        Ha! I can’t reveal all my secrets. 😉 I just find the concept of time incredibly interesting…

        Here’s my theory:
        When we’re children time seems to go by slowly because we have nothing to compare time to. When we’ve only lived eight or nine years, we don’t have the millions of responsibilities and experiences we do as adults. Yes, we all have the same 24 hours in a day, but when those 24 hours are filled with work, chores, errands, etc… it feels like it passes more quickly. As we age the amount of time behind us lengthens, making it feel as though each passing year gets shorter and shorter, when in reality, it doesn’t.

        Pink Floyd’s song “Time” describes this well.
        “Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain
        You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today
        And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
        No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun”

      • Austin says:

        That’s deep..

  2. beth says:

    I like that holly has some sass

  3. markbialczak says:

    Aaron knows he has met his match, Austin.

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