The Easter Bunny had to make an unscheduled stop in Maine today to post bail for a half dozen farmers who grow and harvest the special grass he uses in Easter Baskets. Out of respect for the farmers, and because the Easter Bunny would like to keep the location of the farm a secret, this Modern Philosopher will keep the facts of this story quite vague.
“It was all a simple misunderstanding,” the Easter Bunny explained to me via his cell phone as he hopped on down the Bunny Trail on his way back to headquarters. “The DEA received a tip that my employees were growing ‘special grass’ on their farm. The Feds, eager to make a bust, rushed in without doing their research. I’m frustrated at what my friends had to go through, and that I had to travel to Maine and spend the day in court, which has slowed down production of the Easter Baskets.”
It’s a well known fact amongst Mainers that a good chunk of Easter Basket production goes on in Maine. We keep our involvement a secret, however, to keep alive the myth that the Easter Bunny does it all alone. Apparently, the DEA was not aware of this.
“I think we’ll be able to settle this quickly. Thankfully, the judge set up a court date for well after the Easter season is finished. Now that’s a little Maine justice for you,” the Easter Bunny said with a laugh, alluding the the odd Saturday Night Live skit about the Maine court system.
So will the DEA Agents who raided the farm and tried to confiscate the grass be getting Easter Baskets this year? “That all depends,” the Easter Bunny told me after a long pause. “If I don’t finish all the baskets because of today’s delays, then those involved will discover that it was their baskets that didn’t get made. Believe me, I took down names.”
You gotta love the Easter Bunny for his honesty. Now if you excuse me, I told the Easter Bunny I pitch in and help make up for some of today’s lost time…