I Advise You That I’m Not Lovin’ It

BlutoDear Modern Philosopher,

I am a fellow Mainer, who was inspired by your blog to be one of the first people in line at my polling place on Election Day.

I was ready for change.  It was time to get rid of that buffoon, LePage, and make a new start with a visionary like Mayor McCheese.

What the hell happened?  How did the foulmouthed fat guy win another four years in office?

How in the world am I supposed to survive four more years of Paul LePage shooting off his mouth, embarrassing the state of Maine, and cutting services to those who need them most?

Is it possible to impeach a Governor even before he is sworn in for his second term?  Can parts of Maine defect and form a 51st state led by Governor McCheese?

What are our options???

Pissed in Portland

cheeseDear Pissed,

I am hearing you loud and clear, my friend.  Your letter was one of dozens on this very same topic, but yours was the only one free of profanity, so that it how it got chosen.

I don’t even know where to begin.  All signs pointed to a change in Augusta, and a bright future for Maine after four dark years under LePage’s stewardship.

When I saw the enormous turnout at the polls here, I was sure that meant a resounding vote for change.

Guess I should’ve been a bit suspicious of the fact that I only saw human voters, and not the outpouring of support from the Otherworldly Being population that would have pushed Mayor McCheese to an easy victory.

I advise you that I’m not lovin’ it, and there’s no reason for you to love it, either.  Speak up.  Continue to be a voice for change.  You don’t have to just accept it.  You still have a voice in government, so please do not be silenced or discouraged by this year’s results.

I am scheduled to meet with Zeus this afternoon, and I hope to get some answers from him as to how his candidate lost.  Zeus ran an amazing campaign, and it just doesn’t make sense that it would end in defeat on Election Day.

I also intend to ask Zeus if he is responsible for the series of freak lightning storms that have caused power outages across Maine since Election Day.

Don’t give up the fight.  LePage is bound to do something stupid again soon, so maybe impeachment will be a viable option.  Fingers crossed…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to I Advise You That I’m Not Lovin’ It

  1. D. Parker says:

    You really have to grimace at the result. 😉

  2. treyzguy says:

    Funny….in a political kinda way.

  3. Madiha Hussain says:

    hi great blog, i love it 🙂 also please could you check out mine and give it a follow, it’d mean a lot, thank you if you find the time 🙂

  4. wccunningham says:

    Election Day… don’t get me started. But hey, I got a sticker!

  5. I scratch my head when the polls before an election show a different swing than the actual vote. This makes the smell bad. Know what I mean?

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