I know that some of you are Canadian, Modern Philosophers, so I thought it was finally time to cater to that demographic of my readership.
Last night, I had a very vivid dream that I had moved to Canada. I seemed to have done it without giving much thought to the move because I didn’t know anyone, I didn’t have a job waiting for me, and the residence into which I moved didn’t have a cool name like The House on the Hill.
What’s up with this dream, eh?
To further complicate matters, I moved on my birthday. Then I was very disappointed when my friends didn’t surprise me with a Birthday Party in my new place. Some of them even sent angry emails asking me why the hell I would move to Canada. One friend asked me “Wasn’t Maine remote enough for you?”
So what is up with the anti-Canada sentiment?
Even though it was my birthday, I was determined to go job hunting. That process hit a snag when I realized I hadn’t brought a Canadian resume with me.
What the heck is that? Why did Dream Austin even think such an item existed? Would it just be like an American resume with more references to hockey, the Queen, and SCTV sprinkled in with the rest of the information?
After that, I couldn’t bring myself to leave my new home to begin my job search because I couldn’t remember if Canadians drove on the left or right side of the road. Then I feared that I had moved to a French speaking part of the Great White North, and my high school French was incredibly rusty.
What kind of nightmare was this? If Freddy Krueger had shown up in a Maple Leafs jersey while holding a cup of Tim Horton’s coffee, I would not have been surprised.
If I had died in that dream, would I have woken up in Canada in real life?
I don’t really give much thought to my dreams unless they can be used in a screenplay. For some reason, though, this one really stayed with me all day.
I found myself humming the Canadian National Anthem while in the bathroom at work.
On my lunch break, I looked up the score of the Islanders game, and checked to see where they were in the standing…even though I haven’t really followed them in years.
I even thought to myself that a friend was “such a hoser” after she said something incredibly stupid to me later in the day.
One, two, Canada’s coming for you
Three, four, better lock your door
Five, six, grab your hockey sticks
Seven, eight, Gretzky really is great
Nine, ten, never sleep in America again…
If anyone would care to interpret that dream, please have at it. I need to know if it’s safe to try to sleep tonight, or if I should do everything in my power to stay awake.
I don’t think I want to try my luck with another nightmare North of the Border. What if they try to make me play hockey? Or worse: watch a CFL game?
I know it looks beautiful, but a Canadian Nightmare is no American Dream…
The Return of the Modern Philosopher 
Freud said that all dreams are wish fulfillments so you might want to pack your bags. And you should tell your friends there is almost no place in Canada as remote as Maine.
I am not sure if I’m ready to do those things. 🙂
Red Green is from Canada, and my family is from Canada, and I think they make castles out of ice there too. Dreamy.
Get yourself a skiddah, and you are all set. 🙂
Okay!
Dammit, where are all the comments you usually get? I wanted to see what the other philosophers thought about that dream! You must have just posted this. Be that as it may, I will take a stab at interpreting your dream, largely because I am procrastinating writing my own blog post. You want to escape, to completely change your life. I would think that much is so obvious I am a little embarrassed even to say it. I do hate being obvious (I am mortified when I think about how often I am). Anyways, how could this be the meaning of your dream when your life is actually going pretty well? Could it be your life is not the screenplay montage some of your jealous readers think it is? Now my comment is getting too long, but I did enjoy your post and not just because it delayed the writing of my own post. Just one more quick question: what beer did you drink in your dream? None? Going to Canada and not drinking any beer! You hoser!
I’m not happy with my boring job and I hate being single, but I’m not ready to make a big change like moving out of the country. No way!
No, no, dreams are never literal. Canada was a symbol of the change you want to make. What exactly does it symbolize? That would take too long a comment and be pure speculation at best. Incidentally, there are worse things for a job to be than boring, but I suppose you know that. I feel sure you will escape from it, although perhaps not as soon as you would like (we never do). Regarding being single, sorry. I’d as you out on a date, but I’m too old for you and I’m married. You probably wouldn’t be that into me anyways.
Ha! 🙂
Well, speaking from experience, I’m an American living in Canada. It’s just like the states, we drive on the same side of the road, we love our sports, even football, 99% of us speak English, unless you move to Montreal, or worse Quebec. We actually have indoor plumbing and no we don’t live in igloos or have moose as pets. And most people that actually say Eh, come from some where else. lol It’s safer to live here as far as guns and crime is concerned. And hockey can grow on you, really it did me and I’m not even into sports!
So live your dream! Come on up, we are warmer than you are in Maine! hehehe
I’m not sure that’s my dream, though. I love Maine, except for the snow. And it snows even more in Canada… 🙂
Not everywhere in Canada, I probably get less snow than you. I live right in the alley for chinooks. We get some snow, it warms up and melts it away. 😉
That sounds dreamy… 🙂
It is! It’s the perfect place in Canada. Just enough to snow to be interesting, but not enough to kill you shoveling. 😉 Warm winds sometimes during the winter, lots of sunshine. What more could you ask for??
Hahaha. Canada is safe! Whew! We are a great deal like our American cousins but quite different as well. And you want remote? Check out our north, better bring your parka and your touque!
But I love Maine. Why am I dreaming of moving to Canada???
We have poutine?!!
oooohhh…. you do not want to make the Canadians mad… they have flaming attack beavers…
Hahaha. I love that! And they’re damn cute too!
wait… the Canadians or the flaming beaver commando squads???
Ssshhhh. I’ll never tell!
🙂
either way, I guess.
🙂
That sounds wild!
It’s how we defeated the Nazis…
HA!
I almost didn’t believe it when I saw it on the History Channel…
That’s a very funny station. 🙂
Life is funny
Sadly, it is…
wait… that does not compute… bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
🙂
sigh
🙂
Yikes! That sounds frightening…
I would be worried if I were you…
Curling may look weird–it really does take finesse and skill. I’ve dribbled down my chin and the front of my shirt. Waitress, could I have another serviette please? And bring me and my buds another beer, eh.
Curling looks like a really odd sport…
There is a curling club in Utica, NY. My friend is a member. If I ever write a blog post about it, I will send you the link
Please do!
Crazy dream! I love remembering them even the not so good ones. Like you, I had a nightmare last night. I will not go into it as it is far too personal, but I think, I hope, that dreamworld is a place that exists only there. We are safe from it even if in waking it haunts our brain during the day. Nothing bad, or good for that matter, can actually happen unless we allow it. So have no fear, Canada is still on the other side of the boarder and you are still in the House on the Hill.
Thanks, Rowan. You are very wise. Sorry that you had a nightmare, too…
Eh, it keeps life interesting, but thanks!
🙂
I can sympathize, having been at the receiving end of more than a few bizarro dreams like that one. I can’t imagine living in a place where it’s warm 2 days out of the year. But I have to say that the people in Canada are some of the best!
I guess dreams just don’t make sense!
Rarely. But it feels so real when you’re in one.
Exactly…
Yes. I did that. I immigrated to Canada (PEI to be exact) in 1999. It was horrid. We had to be fingerprinted by the FBI, which is something I could pass THEN ….. and then we had to be examined by a Canadian doctor in Detroit????? And then we met with this extremely bored Consulate employee who told me she’s never see anyone cry because they got INTO the Maritimes before …… Whew. Let me just say – stay awake all night. Get the extra caffeine out – Hockey Night in Canada is EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT and it is a nightmare. I did 8 years hard labor and got let out for good behavior. Glad to be with you here in Maine!
Amen! I think I’ll stay for now. 🙂
well, it is beautiful, calm, kind, peaceful, and friendly – all things you seek i think )
Maybe so… 🙂
They do have the better view of Niagara Falls than we do, Austin. Labatts and Molson taste pretty damn good. But I’ll still take Dunkin’ Donuts over Tim Horton’s every day of the week. Hey, wait! Don’t you go starting any strife between us and our border friends with this dream stuff, buddy boy … especially now that you need a passport (or big deal driver’s license) to cross the border.
I’ll just keep it all in my head. Keep the peace and all. 🙂
It already costs $25 U.S. for a two-eggs, sausage and pancakes breakfast at Canadian side IHOP, Austin. You annoy then and it’ll go up. 🙂
So true…
Reblogged this on Botany Girl.
Thanks for sharing!
Austin, I’m not sure you’re ready for Canada. Picture it: you’re surrounded by people who are ALL just so damn nice. And it’s like being in the South where about a minute later you find yourself saying “y’all” and eating grits and the inside parts of pigs. You’ll start craving maple syrup and you’ll notice that your backpack has little maple leaves and maybe a Canadian flag patch or two. And you’ll start acting like a really nice person. You won’t be able to help it.
I don’t think I’d like that. My inner Brooklynite would rebel!
I used to have recurring dreams that I had moved back to Wisconsin! I’ve been spoiled by Colorado’s mild temperatures and mountains, so they were nightmares.
Your dream was so detailed. I hope it wasn’t a premonition!
I guess you will find out eventually. Hope those Wisconsin dreams don’t “badger” you… HA!
I already have Jackie (who you talked to already on the comments) looking for a Canadian husband for me. Anything to get out of Virginia, and away from humidity!
I wrote on your blog post that my family moved to Virginia when I went off to college. I’m not a fan of the place.
Maybe you should consider a Maine husband… 😉
OK, just seeing this. Humidity is just one of the issues that I have with this location. North is the way to go! 😀
I was a bit bothered by all the Confederate statues on Monument Avenue…
A lot of people are still fighting that war, it seems. 😦 I know ignorance is everywhere, but here it’s “history” and somehow that excuses it for some.
Yup.
You know what’s funny about this post is that I live in Canada and I’ve had pretty much the exact same dream about the states. Canada’s not so bad, eh. It’s just chilly and we have a lot of stop signs for no reason. 🙌
Also, Freddy Kruger is no joke.
I never said Freddy was a joke… 🙂