At a time when our President cannot find the words to condemn Nazis and white supremacists, I think it’s time to support a new political party to lead our nation back from the brink of Trump-ageddon, Modern Philosophers.
I offer you the Ice Cream Socialists.
I attended one of their gatherings today, which they refer to as a social.
There were no tiki torches, no hoods to hide the identities of anyone in attendance, and no flags flying other than the Stars and Stripes.
No one marched in anger, shouted obscenities, or looked to engage in a physical altercation with anyone else in attendance.
It was a peaceful gathering of about seventy-five people, who managed to interact without any sort of conflict.
There were plenty of smiles and kind words, though.
And on this breezy summer day in Maine, the Ice Cream Socialists had a very clear platform with only one item on their agenda…
Free ice cream for all!
Theirs is a platform that I can support completely, and I’m willing to attend as many socials as needed until we can take back our country from the buffoons who think they can make America great again by reminiscing about and reliving the “good old days” of World War II and the Civil War.
I’m not even sure who group’s leader was, as there wasn’t one blowhard sucking all the air out of the room by dominating the conversation with shouted monologues and pointing angry fingers at everyone he blames for the country’s demise.
Heck, they’re socialists so maybe everyone is in charge.
Or perhaps the leader is whoever is holding the ice cream scoop at any given moment.
In the eyes of the Ice Cream Socialists, chocolate is always as important as vanilla.
That’s the scoop, President Trump.
When they finally did decide to get loud, their rallying cry was like music to my ears:
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Make sundaes, not war. Add toppings, rather than fuel to the fire. Build ice cream parlors instead of border walls.
America needs a new direction, and I believe it is towards the Ice Cream Socialists.
Writer’s Note: I might have drifted off into a sugar induced fantasy world during today’s ice cream social at work, but I still think it’s a great idea for a political party.