The Rise of the Ice Cream Socialists

politics, humor, satire, Donald Trump, racism, Modern PhilosopherAt a time when our President cannot find the words to condemn Nazis and white supremacists, I think it’s time to support a new political party to lead our nation back from the brink of Trump-ageddon, Modern Philosophers.

I offer you the Ice Cream Socialists.

I attended one of their gatherings today, which they refer to as a social.

There were no tiki torches, no hoods to hide the identities of anyone in attendance, and no flags flying other than the Stars and Stripes.

No one marched in anger, shouted obscenities, or looked to engage in a physical altercation with anyone else in attendance.

It was a peaceful gathering of about seventy-five people, who managed to interact without any sort of conflict.

There were plenty of smiles and kind words, though.

And on this breezy summer day in Maine, the Ice Cream Socialists had a very clear platform with only one item on their agenda…

Free ice cream for all!

politics, humor, satire, Donald Trump, racism, Modern PhilosopherAs you can see from the above photo, I joined the party without any hesitation.

Theirs is a platform that I can support completely, and I’m willing to attend as many socials as needed until we can take back our country from the buffoons who think they can make America great again by reminiscing about and reliving the “good old days” of World War II and the Civil War.

I’m not even sure who group’s leader was, as there wasn’t one blowhard sucking all the air out of the room by dominating the conversation with shouted monologues and pointing angry fingers at everyone he blames for the country’s demise.

Heck, they’re socialists so maybe everyone is in charge.

Or perhaps the leader is whoever is holding the ice cream scoop at any given moment.

politics, humor, satire, Donald Trump, racism, Modern PhilosopherThe group agreed on a philosophy that is easy to get behind: We are a nation of many flavors, none of which is more important than the other.

In the eyes of the Ice Cream Socialists, chocolate is always as important as vanilla.

That’s the scoop, President Trump.

When they finally did decide to get loud, their rallying cry was like music to my ears:

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Make sundaes, not war.  Add toppings, rather than fuel to the fire.  Build ice cream parlors instead of border walls.

America needs a new direction, and I believe it is towards the Ice Cream Socialists.

Writer’s Note: I might have drifted off into a sugar induced fantasy world during today’s ice cream social at work, but I still think it’s a great idea for a political party.

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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22 Responses to The Rise of the Ice Cream Socialists

  1. JT Twissel says:

    Great post – can I reblog?

  2. ksbeth says:

    this is my kind of group!

  3. JT Twissel says:

    Reblogged this on JT Twissel and commented:
    I’m joining this party. How about you?

  4. I’m all for this and no more terrorism too. I can’t bear to hear about loss of innocent life, Barcelona has tipped me over the edge I am numb.

  5. Gail Kaufman says:

    Reblogged this on Gail's Blog and commented:
    The angst, anger and appall I feel, which overshadows each day the hate groups enjoy the support of an American president, is beyond words. In the deluge of articles and posts, many reflect the dire thoughts swimming in my head. I’m grateful for the courageous and brutal honesty of these writers who say what needs to be said for us today and for posterity, yet the heaviness of it all weighs me down as I try to pretend this is simply another eventful news day. How I wish it was fake news.

    As I wrote to my congresswoman, what’s to prevent it from happening where I live? Where my children live?

    Austin Hodgens creatively expresses my fears and bewilderment in a way that’s a little easier for me to digest (no pun intended).

  6. What a delicious idea for a political party! Joining now! 😁

  7. Reblogged this on Thoughts by Mello-Elo and commented:
    Food for thought by the Modern Philosopher, in the midst of everyone screaming how politically correct they are.

  8. Jet Eliot says:

    Cleverly written post, refreshing–and really fun idea to have an ice cream socialists party. Great post, Austin (found you through JT Twissel’s re-blog).

  9. cartoonrob says:

    Nice post! I’d love to join, especially on a hot day. I could make a reasonable contribution eating ice cream. Happy to join the gelato sub committee.

  10. Reblogged this on Collected Letters and commented:
    I am in awe of the deep, insightful philosophy in The Modern Philosopher’s latest post. We need more people like this!

  11. Lutheranliar says:

    Speaking of ice cream, did you catch Tina Fey’s delicious ‘sheet cake’ rant on SNL?

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