Doc Brown Saves Halloween (And Election Day)

Doc Brown, Halloween, short story, Donald Trump, politics, Great Pumpkin, humor, Modern PhilosopherI was sitting on the couch, watching the Notre Dame game, when I heard the familiar sound of Doc Brown’s DeLorean landing in my driveway.

I rushed to the front door just in time to see Doc bounding up the front porch stairs two at a time.  His hair was wilder than usual and his energy levels were beyond manic.

“Austin! I’m so glad you’re home,” he declared excitedly as he looked back at the DeLorean like he needed to make sure it was still there.  “I don’t have much time, but I wanted to give you an exclusive for your blog.”

I had to laugh.  “I thought having the DeLorean meant you always had all the time in the world.”

Doc didn’t even crack a smile.  Instead, he put his arm around my shoulder and shepherded me away from the door and closed it behind us.

“I didn’t want to worry you, but you might be getting a visit from some people trying to find me,” he cautioned as he strode over to the front door and peered out onto the street.

“Who’s coming for you, Doc?” I chuckled because I was certain he was pulling my leg.  “Is it the Libyans?  Did you steal their Plutonium again?”

“Great Scott, Austin!  How can you joke at a time like this?” Doc admonished as he nervously paced the foyer of The House on the Hill.

That’s when it hit me.  Doc wasn’t playing around.  Something was wrong.

“What’s going on, Doc?” I asked with just a pinch of fear in my voice.

time travel, Back to the Future, Halloween, Donald Trump, short story, Doc Brown, Modern Philosopher“I got caught up in the Halloween spirit and the excitement of the Presidential Election, and might have made a rash decision,” he explained as he rushed to the front window to scan the street for whoever he thought was after him.

“What did you do, Doc?” I asked nervously.

“Remember how I told you a time traveler should never do anything to disrupt the space/time continuum?” Doc queried as his ran his hands through his wild mane of hair.

“Sure,” I replied.  “That’s Time Travel 101.  The basics.”

“Well, I was watching It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown the other night.  It always gets to me.  Poor Linus, waiting for The Great Pumpkin to appear, believing so hard in something and never getting his faith rewarded.  Linus and his unwavering faith reminds me of a young me.”

I wasn’t really sure where this was going, but I just nodded.  A lot of my conversations with Doc were like this.

“Every commercial break had at least one campaign ad,” Doc grumbled.  “Sometimes it was Trump, and sometimes it was Clinton.  Either way, it was really quite annoying.”

“I still can’t believe that a great scientific mind like yours hasn’t invented a device to record televised programs, which would in turn, allow you to fast forward through commercials,” I ribbed him as he scurried over to the front door again to check the street.

Linus, The Great Pumpkin, Halloween, time travel, Doc Brown, Donald Trump, short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“I really don’t get your humor sometimes,” Doc informed me when he finally returned. “I couldn’t take it anymore.  Linus needs to meet the Great Pumpkin, and I’m going to change history to make it happen.”

My jaw dropped and I looked at Doc, my idol and hero, in total shock.

“But you can’t alter the past,” I warned him.  “You have no idea of the repercussions it could have on the present.  We don’t know if Linus, having finally met the Great Pumpkin, decides there’s nothing left worth living for and shoots up his classroom, taking out Charlie Brown and the whole Peanuts gang in the process.”

Doc looked at me in confusion.  “That’s dark, Austin, even for a Halloween post.”

“The mere idea that you’d break the biggest rule of time travel has me completely freaked out, Doc!” I admitted.  “You can’t do this.  Besides, the Great Pumpkin isn’t real.”

“The Great Pumpkin is in the DeLorean,” Doc corrected me.  “The Secret Service probably has some sort of tracking device and agents are most likely on their way…”

He rushed to the front door again, and this time, he opened it and ran out onto the porch.

I had no choice but to follow him if I wanted to understand what the Hell was going on.

“The Secret Service, Doc?” I asked in utter confusion.  “What do they have to do with The Great Pumpkin?”

Donald Trump, politics, Halloween, time travel, Back to the Future, Doc Brown, humor, short story, Modern PhilosopherRather than answer me, Doc just pointed at the time machine parked in my driveway.

Donald Trump waved to me from the passenger seat.

“He thinks we’re going to the future so he can see himself as President,” Doc whispered.

“You’ve kidnapped Donald Trump?” I screamed.

Doc quickly clamped his hand over my mouth.

“Great Scott, Austin, don’t tell the world!” Doc scolded me.  “I just can’t allow that angry orange, pumpkin head of a man to become President.  If I dump him in a pumpkin patch back in 1966 and then go back to the future without him, I not only grant Linus’ wish, but I also save this country from Future President Trump.”

It was a bold plan, but possibly the only way to ensure that Donald Trump did not become the next President of the United States.

“Godspeed, my friend,” I wished him as I shook his hand firmly.  “I’d say this is the one exception to the whole never alter history rule.”

“I think Mr. Trump’s way of thinking is about fifty years behind the times, so he should be perfect for the 60s,” Doc told me with a wink.  “If the Secret Service comes, tell them you haven’t seen me.  I’ve asked my old pal Bernie Sanders to say that he was the one Trump met with today shortly before he disappeared.”

Halloween, time travel, Doc Brown, Back to the Future, Donald Trump, Great Pumpkin, short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“You truly are an American hero, Doc,” I told my friend proudly.

“I just couldn’t sit back and let that man ruin this great nation,” Doc explained.  “Happy Halloween, Austin.”

“Happy Halloween, Doc!”  I gave him a huge hug and then saluted the American hero.

I’m sorry for what the people of 1966 will have to endure, but what Doc is doing really is the only way to save Halloween, Election Day, and America!

Give yourself a treat this Halloween and follow me on Pinterest!

Advertisements

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Politics, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Doc Brown Saves Halloween (And Election Day)

  1. D. Parker says:

    Hey Austin, hope you’re doing well, Susie sent me, but since I’m here pretty much every day…Happy Halloween! With Stephen King as your neighbour, The Devil as a friend and all the other paranormal wonders that inhabit The House on the Hill, I image your Halloween is spooktacular!!! I hope your potluck at work is yummy!

  2. Gail says:

    How I wish this story were true.

  3. susielindau says:

    Brilliant as always, Austin. The Great Pumpkin is Trump! Ha!
    Thanks for bringing this to the party. I was haunting around this weekend and will dig up some new guests from the grave tomorrow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s