I was not seeking out Stephen King’s latest novel, however.
I was there to file my income taxes, and see if Uncle Sam was demanding any more of my hard earned money.
While I’ve never minded the whole income tax thing because I understand how the government works, the mere thought of giving even an extra cent to President Trump really irked me.
As always, volunteers from AARP were on hand to file my taxes for free. I just had to hunker down in the library cafe to wait an unknown number of hours for one of the volunteers to get to me.
Even though I arrived fifteen minutes before the library was scheduled to open, the cafe was already packed with people looking to tax it up.
Luckily, I had two books in my bag, and entire building filled with even more of them, should the wait prove excruciatingly long.
There was my FitBit’s demand that I feed it at least 250 steps every hour. Even though I walked to the library, collecting well over 2000 steps in the process, that meant nothing to the nagging device on my wrist at the top of the hour.
I had to get up in the packed room, and quietly do laps, while keeping an eye on my possessions, which I had left on my very comfy chair.
I knew people were eying my chair, and there was no way they were getting, so I had to leave it covered in my stuff when I got up to walk.
More problematic, however, was my bladder. After a half hour walk from The House on the Hill, and then a two hour wait, I was doing the pee pee dance in my chair.
I just knew, though, that if I went to the bathroom, they’d call my name, think I’d left, and then move on to the next person.
Plus, I’d have to take everything with me as I couldn’t trust leaving personal tax documents unattended in a room of strangers, which meant one of those strangers would have snatched up my chair for sure!
So I waited, and tapped out the steps of the dance of a man afraid to wet his pants. I’m a horrible dancer, but I could’ve gotten into Julliard with how flawlessly I executed the movements of my potty dance.
All that running finally paid off because I made it to the urinal in record time.
I’d heard tales of smaller tax returns and people even owing money this year because of the new Republican tax plan.
Thanks again, Electoral College!
So for the second time in about twenty minutes, I was greatly relieved, when I was told I’d be getting a refund. It’s down from last year, but at least I didn’t owe anything.
It wasn’t the most exciting way to spend my day off, but it was a thrill to find out I didn’t have to write a check to the guy who would probably use my money for his border wall…
Have you filed your income taxes yet? Do you do them yourself, or entrust them to a professional?