A Taxing Day Off

income tax, government, humor, Modern PhilosopherI made my annual journey across the bridge to the Bangor Public Library today, Modern Philosophers.

I was not seeking out Stephen King’s latest novel, however.

I was there to file my income taxes, and see if Uncle Sam was demanding any more of my hard earned money.

While I’ve never minded the whole income tax thing because I understand how the government works, the mere thought of giving even an extra cent to President Trump really irked me.

As always, volunteers from AARP were on hand to file my taxes for free.  I just had to hunker down in the library cafe to wait an unknown number of hours for one of the volunteers to get to me.

Even though I arrived fifteen minutes before the library was scheduled to open, the cafe was already packed with people looking to tax it up.

Luckily, I had two books in my bag, and entire building filled with even more of them, should the wait prove excruciatingly long.

income tax, government, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhile my impatience was expected to be my biggest enemy, I found I had a couple other nagging issues that needed my atention.

There was my FitBit’s demand that I feed it at least 250 steps every hour.  Even though I walked to the library, collecting well over 2000 steps in the process, that meant nothing to the nagging device on my wrist at the top of the hour.

I had to get up in the packed room, and quietly do laps, while keeping an eye on my possessions, which I had left on my very comfy chair.

I knew people were eying my chair, and there was no way they were getting, so I had to leave it covered in my stuff when I got up to walk.

More problematic, however, was my bladder.  After a half hour walk from The House on the Hill, and then a two hour wait, I was doing the pee pee dance in my chair.

I just knew, though, that if I went to the bathroom, they’d call my name, think I’d left, and then move on to the next person.

Plus, I’d have to take everything with me as I couldn’t trust leaving personal tax documents unattended in a room of strangers, which meant one of those strangers would have snatched up my chair for sure!

So I waited, and tapped out the steps of the dance of a man afraid to wet his pants.  I’m a horrible dancer, but I could’ve gotten into Julliard with how flawlessly I executed the movements of my potty dance.

income tax, government, humor, Modern PhilosopherI finally got the call about two and a half hours after I arrived at the library.  I said hi to my tax lady, and then excused myself to bolt to the restroom.

All that running finally paid off because I made it to the urinal in record time.

I’d heard tales of smaller tax returns and people even owing money this year because of the new Republican tax plan.

Thanks again, Electoral College!

So for the second time in about twenty minutes, I was greatly relieved, when I was told I’d be getting a refund.  It’s down from last year, but at least I didn’t owe anything.

It wasn’t the most exciting way to spend my day off, but it was a thrill to find out I didn’t have to write a check to the guy who would probably use my money for his border wall…

Have you filed your income taxes yet?  Do you do them yourself, or entrust them to a professional?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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12 Responses to A Taxing Day Off

  1. The Hook says:

    We just filed yesterday.
    We have H&R Block do it every year; the lady who runs the branch used to work with me at the hotel so she always treats us right when it comes to making a contribution to Justin Trudeau…

    • Austin says:

      Nice. I like having it done for free, so the long wait is worth it.

      • The Hook says:

        I don’t blame you, brother.
        Between my family’s taxes and one last filing for my mother, it cost me hundreds to file this year.
        I always get a healthy return and the cost of filing is deducted from the return total, but it’s still a grind.

      • Austin says:

        It’s a really nice service, even if I have to wait a few hours. Are there any companies up your way that provide free tax prep? AARP is an American company, but do they have a Canadian affiliate/version?

      • The Hook says:

        I think you can get your taxes done for free at our local libraries, it’s just not something I’ve ever taken part in.

      • Austin says:

        Well, the option is there then if you want to save some of your hard earned money. 🙂

  2. ksbeth says:

    i did, end of january, used a pro, and got a refund, but much less than in the past. yes, i’d say the free price tag was worth it -)

  3. AAristizabal says:

    Good thing you are such an early bird to file your taxes! I’d do that myself as well, if being allowed. Down here, we do it between August and October, because Companies are requested to file their taxes first. Since regulations here are extensive and complex, my family usually hires professionals for the task; although my best friend’s dad usually prepares and files all of his family’s, himself. He says that way he relaxes…

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