Stay At Home Snowstorm

snow, humor, stay at home, Modern PhilosopherRemember how I told you I’ve lost track of what day it is since this whole self-isolation, stay at home, don’t go to work, just wear sweatpants all the time thing started, Modern Philosophers?

Well, another issue resulting from never going out of the house anymore is that I don’t check the weather.  I mean, why would I?  It’s always the same temperature inside The House on the Hill, and if there is an issue, I can adjust the thermostat.

Besides, I had a vague recollection of March turning in April, which means that the 182 Days of Terror officially ended.  Once April hits, I stop worrying about snow, ice, frigid temperatures, and frostbite.

So I was totally caught off guard when yesterday’s viewing of The Gilmore Girls (Yes, it’s a sickness. I’m totally addicted again!) was interrupted by an alert from the Emergency Broadcast System.

First of all, let me confess that my heart skipped a few beats when that emergency alert signal sounded.  I assumed that it had something to do with COVID-19, most likely that the first Zombie horde was headed in my direction.

Zombie Apocalypse, snow, humor, stay at home, Modern PhilosopherNo one’s ever prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse, but I felt like I should have had at least an inkling that it was on the horizon given what was going on in the world with the pandemic, and my religiously watching The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead, and The Talking Dead.

Alas, Beta was not leading the Zombie horde to The House on the Hill, nor was the alert at all related to the Coronavirus outbreak.  Instead, it was about the weather.

According to the robotic voice from my television, there was a severe weather advisory for my area.  Eight to seventeen inches of snow were expected from Thursday afternoon through Friday evening.


I know I’ve lost track of the date, but I was positive it was April, and we were definitely at least a few days removed from April Fool’s Day.

I scrambled to find a calendar, but then remembered that my FitBit kept track of the date, as well as my steps.

A massive blizzard was predicted for April 8?  Oh wait.  April 8 was the date on my FitBit, but the Emergency Alert was for a storm on Thursday.

A massive blizzard was predicted for April 9?

snow, humor, stay at home, Modern PhilosopherThis truly is the end of the world.  First there’s the pandemic, then the cancelling of all sports, and finally a massive snowstorm in April.  It’s going down just like the Bible said it would happen.

I have challenged my myself to find the silver lining in everything in an attempt to hold on to my sanity for just a little longer.

So if I had to find the positive in this April blizzard, there’s the fact that since I’ve been furloughed from my job and we are under a stay at home order, I don’t have to worry about driving through seventeen inches.

Additionally (look at me finding two silver linings!), a massive blizzard is an excellent way to enforce the whole shelter in place concept.  I suppose there is a chance that Governor Mills took this idea to a higher level and enlisted Mother Nature’s help in keeping Mainers from sneaking out to socialize and spread a pandemic.

The skies look rather foreboding.  While I was on my morning run, I could sense that a storm was coming.  There’s something in the air when snow is imminent, and there was a lot more of whatever that is than usual.

I am ready for this blizzard.  The House on the Hill is already loaded with supplies, there are many shows waiting on the DVR, and I’ve got a writing project to keep me busy.

Then there is the matter of shoveling all the annoying white stuff out of my driveway.  I suppose clearing a path from the garage to the street isn’t at all an urgent matter, but it still needs to be done.

snow, humor, stay at home, Modern PhilosopherIt won’t look like Spring if the driveway is buried under a lush carpet of snow.

I will just make sure that if I build any snowmen, that I keep them at least six feet apart.  After all, social distancing is key if things are ever going to go back to normal.

Stay safe, my friends!

Just checking in.  How is everyone doing?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Stay At Home Snowstorm

  1. lisakunk says:

    watch the length of the snowmen arms as they might just touch

  2. beth says:

    we had rain, sun, snow, wind, and hail – all today off and on

  3. markbialczak says:

    We are in the midst of accumulating snow on the cars and lawn this Friday morning, Austin, but not that alert you had for yesterday and today …

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