It was the kind of thing that should’ve caused Axel Foley to kick in my door, burst into The House on the Hill with his gun drawn, and place me under arrest.
What did I do that was so damn wrong?
On the morning of June 2, I turned on the heat!
Trust me, I fought it for as long as I could. I was so cold last night as I sat in the living room watching TV. I wore my flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve sweatshirt to bed. I even pulled the hood up over my head to keep my ears warm.
This morning, it was too much. After I chipped away the ice that had formed on the bed over night, I rode a dogsled down to the living room and cranked up the thermostat.
It wasn’t at all like sunny Beverly Hills inside The House on the Hill. That global warming that Al Gore promised us was nowhere to be be found.
I suppose the silver lining in it all was that I still had plenty of heating oil in the furnace.
And it wasn’t snowing.
So is the New Ice Age upon us, Modern Philosophers? Has the Winter that wouldn’t end just decided to keep on going well past its normal date of expiration?
I dedicated a lot of blog space this past Winter to the record snowfall, the frigid temperatures, the New Ice Age, the vanishing Global Warming, and my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.
None of those topics were on the blog’s agenda for June. In fact, I had planned to write about rainbows, unicorns, how Werewolves keep cool, sunburn remedies for Leprechauns, tips for disguising the disgusting stench of Summer Zombie Rot, and spells for conjuring up the perfect BBQ feast.
So why am I using a photo of me taken during Winter Storm Juno on my June 2 blog post? There could be only one reason…
Clearly, he has missed being the center of my attention, and the focus of a blog with 13,000 dedicated followers.
I guess they just don’t give him the coverage he desires on the other side of the world, so he decided to sneak back into Maine to cause some trouble.
I don’t normally negotiate with terrorists, but if putting Snow Miser’s ugly mug on my blog and mentioning him a few times in tonight’s post will fuel his ego and send him on his way then Snow Miser, Snow Miser, Snow Miser, Snow Miser!
Now get the hell out of here before I send Axel Foley after you!
Sunshine, flowers in bloom, burgers sizzling on the grill, short shorts, writing out on the porch, ice cream, hanging out by the pool. What else have you got?
If you think it, Spring will come…