Maine Votes For Sanity Over Trump

Maine might be crazy, but yesterday's Republican Caucus proves it is officially not the Donald Trump kind of crazy!Everyone knows that Maine is kinda crazy, Modern Philosophers, but I’m proud to announce that it is officially not the Donald Trump kinda crazy!

Much to my relief, yesterday’s Maine Republican Caucus was won by Ted Cruz.  While no prize himself, Senator Cruz’s best quality might very well be that he is not Donald Trump.

The results of the caucus were decidedly in Cruz’s favor, and I’m still not sure if that was a vote for Cruz, or a vote against Trump, but all that really matters is that I can now safely say I don’t live in Trump Country.

Of course, I might not be able to say that in November after Election Day, but it is something of a relief being able to say that now.

We still have at least eight more months of freedom to enjoy before chaos reigns.

Trump spent a couple of hours in Maine on Thursday, but he only got as far as Portland.  As a result, Maine Public Health officials did not find it necessary to decontaminate my part of the state.

I’m told that Portland is still under quarantine, with domes being used to keep the citizens from spreading any Trump related contagion throughout the state.

No Stephen KIng novel has a scarier fate for Maine than one in which Donald Trump is President of the United States! |The Return of the Modern Philosopher Maine is mostly Democratic, and I hope the burning sensation Maine Democrats feel prior to today’s Democratic Caucus is one for Bernie Sanders, and not a side effect of Trump’s recent visit.

I still think Senator Sanders, Doc Brown’s doppelganger and Angry Obi-Wan, is the sanest choice for an electorate that seems begging to be fitted for a straitjacket.

Of course, voters can only choose from what is on the menu, and the chefs of the Republican and Democrat parties are only offering slightly scarier variations of the same Unhappy Meal.

I was tempted to drive to Husson University yesterday to observe the Republican Caucus process.  However, I feared I would either be identified by Trump loyalists and thrown over a wall erected to keep out anti-Trump free speech, or my clothes would end up reeking from the stench of hatred and xenophobia and I’d be force to burn them.

CNN was tantalizingly slow in reporting the results last night, and I assumed this meant that the unfortunate folks counting the votes were impeded by having to read through all the hate messages Trump supporters added to their ballots.

I was amused by the comment Trump made about the Maine results during his victory speech.  He said something like, “Of course Ted won in Maine.  It’s so close to Canada.”

Ted Cruz won the Maine Republican Caucus, winning Mainers over with the catchy slogan, "I'm not Donald Trump!" | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherYes, Donald, Maine is very close to Canada.  That’s why we were able to vote against you yesterday without any worries.  You see, Mainers know we can easily slip across the border to freedom before End of Days, aka your Inauguration, takes place.

As for why Senator Cruz won up here, I think it might have had something to do with his catchy campaign slogan:  “Vote for me. I’m not Trump!”

I’m just glad that the focus of this crazy Election Season has shifted away from Maine.  We prefer peace and quiet, and we treasure our sanity…

Has your state held its 2016 Presidential Primary or Caucus yet?  If so, did the candidate of your choice win?  Would you feel the need to abandon your state if Donald Trump was the winner there?

I don’t know if you’re following this election as closely as I am, but I would like to at least know that you’re following me on Pinterest…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Maine Votes For Sanity Over Trump

  1. gh0stpupp3t says:

    Yay!!!!! Alright Maine!!!!!!

  2. Adopting that campaign slogan is the smartest thing Cruz could do. For reals.

  3. CNN and every news source was only reporting that Hillary won. You’ve noticed too that all news sources only cover Trump and Hillary. I guess they haven’t felt the Bern yet, but they will after Bernie become President.

  4. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    … “While no prize himself, Senator Cruz’s best quality might very well be that he is not Donald Trump.” …. don’t know which one is worse!! Do you?

  5. jan says:

    I’m really not sure which one is worse!

  6. ksbeth says:

    bern is speaking here tomorrow. dem debate here tonight, primary tuesday. batter up!

  7. Did an actual laugh out loud at this part: “Trump spent a couple of hours in Maine on Thursday, but he only got as far as Portland. As a result, Maine Public Health officials did not find it necessary to decontaminate my part of the state.” (Hoping Sanders wins your fair state today.)

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