The Witches must have done something to my couch the last time they were at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers, because I once again fell sound asleep while sitting on it.
I was roused by a knocking at the front door. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and slowly made my way out to the foyer to answer it.
There was a Vampire smiling at me from my front porch.
“Hey,” Ana, my new Vampire friend said with a smile as she pushed her eyeglasses back up on her nose. “Is it weird for me to just show up to visit? I didn’t have your number to call ahead.”
I smiled and opened the screen door. “My friends are always welcome here, Ana. They rarely call to inform me they’re on their way, so don’t worry about it.”
She just stood there, even though I had opened the door for her, so I was a bit perplexed.
“I can’t just enter your home without an invitation,” she said, sensing my confusion. “You know us Vampires and our silly rules.”
“Welcome to The House on the Hill, Ana,” I said in my best official greeter voice. “Won’t you please come inside?”
Ana took a step over the threshold and I would now have to deal with the consequences of giving a Vampire permission to make herself at home in my home. “You might want to tell your Gargoyle to stand down,” she suggested as she entered the foyer and took a look around. “He’s been growling and eying me from the moment I set foot on your block.”
I hadn’t heard any growling from the roof, but I suppose Vampires have a much keener sense of hearing. I muttered a quick “all clear” to Gary and then closed the door.
“I really hope this is okay,” Ana called over her shoulder as she wandered into the living room. “From reading your blog, I got the sense that Otherworldly Beings showed up here all the time to hang. I figured I’d be walking in on a wild party. I did also bring something to win your favor.”
She unzipped the satchel that hung around her neck and pulled out a six pack of Snapple Lemon Tea. “Your favorite, right?” she asked hopefully as she handed over the gift.
I offered Ana a seat, making sure to phrase it in the form of an invitation just in case Vampires had strict rules about couches as well. I offered her a Snapple, but she politely declined. I took one for myself, smiled upon finding that it was ice cold, and then sat down next to her.
“So what’s up?” I asked as I took a sip. “What brings you to my big, empty home?”
“I read every single one of your blog posts, and I really love your writing,” she said as she continued to scan the room, giving me the sense that Vampires liked to be extremely familiar with their surroundings. “The one you wrote about our first meeting is my favorite, of course, but I’m also a huge fan of the poems you wrote for The Girl You Love So Much. They’re incredibly romantic.”
Before the period was even on that last sentence, Ana had disappeared from the couch in a blur and reappeared across the room. She picked up the famed photograph on the mantel and held it close for a better look.
“This is her, isn’t it?” she asked as she studied my favorite photo of me with The Girl Who Makes My Heart Dance. “She is so beautiful. You guys look great together.”
“Yes, that’s her,” I confirmed. “Thank you.”
“She convinced you to start the blog, right?” she continued with her interrogation as she returned the photo to its proper place. “You write it every day to distract yourself from how much you miss her. She’s your Muse.”
I took another sip of Snapple and nodded. The next thing I knew, Ana was back on the couch next to me. That was a cool, but creepy trick.
“I want to start a blog,” she told me excitedly as she pushed her glasses back up on her nose. “I don’t have a true love to pine over, but I’m immortal and I need a major distraction. Please teach me all the things I’ll need to know to keep me busy for the rest of my life.”
I thought she was joking, but the very intent look on her face told me she was not. I knew that Maine Vampires supposedly no longer had a taste for human blood, but I didn’t want to test that theory.
“Okay,” I replied enthusiastically and then chugged the rest of my Snapple. “What inspires you?”
Ana shrugged. “No one has ever asked me that,” she admitted in a sad voice. “How do you know what to write?”
“I just observe the crazy world around me,” I explained, “and then look for a unique way to tell the stories. I had 8,400 views to my blog last week, which was way above normal. I usually average around 900 views a day, but I didn’t do anything different. I wrote some silly stories about Easter, and they took off. I never know what’s going to be popular.”
“My post about the Easter Bunny dealing with a Twitter hoax only got 23 views the day I wrote it. The last two days, though, it was read over 1,000 times. I just write a post that I think would make The Girl Who Owns My Heart laugh, and then I send it out onto the internet.”
Ana nodded and smiled. “So blogging is kind of like Magic. You just whip up a spell and see what happens?”
That sounded better than any explanation I could give her. If anyone else has a better answer, I have a very curious Vampire who’d love to talk to you…