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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Sick
After Dinner Mints: That God Awful Gurgle
The day got off to such a promising start, Modern Philosophers. I was up bright and early to get in a run before work. It was an overcast morning, which was excellent weather for leaving little pools of sweat along … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged exercise, gurgle, Humor, life, Modern Philiospher, running, sarcasm, satire, Sick, stomach pains, work
12 Comments
In Sickness And In Snow
Everyone loves a good David & Goliath story, Modern Philosophers. In this version, I’m David and Winter Storm Goliath will be tackling the role of Goliath. I went to bed early last night, and set my alarm an hour early … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, photography, sarcasm, satire, shoveling snow, Sick, snow, snowblower, Winter Storm Goliath
14 Comments
Welcome To The Hotel Krueger
Welcome to the Hotel Krueger, Modern Philosophers. You can check in once you’ve fallen sleep. Check out time? In your dreams, of course. Don’t forget to tip the bellman. It’s not our blogger buddy The Hook, but rather, the scary … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged birthdays, Freddy Krueger, hotel, Humor, life, long distance relationship, Modern Philosopher, nightmares, Sarcasm, satire, Sick
19 Comments
Surrender Your Bodily Fluids Immediately!
I always expect Mondays to be challenging, Modern Philosophers, but this one caught me off guard mere moments after I walked through the front door at work this morning. No sooner had I put my lunch in the fridge and … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged angry nurse, health insurance, Humor, Ice Cream, losing your voice, Modern Philosopher, Monday, Sarcasm, satire, Sick, urine sample
27 Comments
I Advise You To Put It Off Until Tomorrow
Dear Modern Philosopher, I am writing to you in the predawn hours because I am hoping that you will pick my letter for today’s advice column. And because I cannot sleep. I’m definitely coming down with something. I can feel … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged advice, coworkers, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Sick, Sick Days, vacation time, Weekend, work
27 Comments
Your Insurance Will Cover A Witch Doctor, But Not Witchcraft
I’m a big baby when I’m sick, Modern Philosophers. I think that The Girl Who Went Off To Be A Doctor probably knew that she was meant to be in the medical field after having to take care of this … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Flu, Gargoyles, Humor, Love, Magic, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Sick, Witch Doctor, Witches
8 Comments
I Am Sick Without You…
I am sick Without you Here To take care Of me. I languish All alone On the couch, Choking down Soup While I Watch TV. I miss The way You’d play With my hair, Rub my tummy, And lecture me … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged Flu, Humor, lonely, Love, Modern Philosopher, Romantic, satire, scarcasm, Sick
6 Comments
Jump Start Your Brain: The Oscars!
Good morning, Modern Philosophers… I have to warn you that I woke up feeling very sick, but I am wearing a mask in hopes of keeping my germs off of the blog. Of course, it is a Jack Skellington mask, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Flu, Humor, Modern Philosopher, movies, Oscars, rambling, Sarcasm, satire, Saturday, Sick
22 Comments
Too Sick To Write…Who’s Got A Cure?
I’m too sick to write a post tonight, Modern Philosophers. That guy in the photo on the left looks a thousand times better than how I feel. It started as just a tickle in my throat this morning, but all … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged blogging, camels, Flu, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Sick, soup, writing
40 Comments
I Advise You To Not Get The Flu
Dear Modern Philosopher, I heard you were sick. Feeling any better? Concerned in Connecticut Dear Concerned, Thank you for your letter. The rumors are true. I am sick as a dog, which really has my cat upset, and has … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged advice, contagious, Flu, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Sick
24 Comments