Tag Archives: President Obama

Advisers Urge President Obama To Declare Himself King

Posted on November 12, 2016 by Austin

In the aftermath of Election Day, Modern Philosophers, America has seemed like an entirely different country as citizens react to and absorb the fact that Donald Trump has been elected the next President of the United States. Meanwhile, at the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

England To Become Our 51st State On July 4

Posted on July 3, 2016 by Austin

President Obama has chosen Independence Day Eve, Modern Philosophers, to make the shocking announcement that England will become out fifty-first state on July 4. “Sure, our will flags look a little awkward now with a fifty-first star,” The President told … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

My Top 5 States Of The Union

Posted on January 12, 2016 by Austin

In honor of President Obama’s final State of the Union Address tonight, Modern Philosophers, I thought I’d address my My Top 5 states of the Union. While it was not easy to narrow down the field from 50 to 5, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

President Obama Sings “Happy Birthday, USA” With Stunned Americans

Posted on July 4, 2015 by Austin

Happy Independence Day, Modern Philosophers! According to reports out of The White House, President Obama woke up early on the Fourth of July and decided to spread a little holiday cheer of his own. Numerous sources have confirmed that The … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

76% Of Americans Think The Country Needs A Royal Baby

Posted on May 6, 2015 by Austin

According to a new poll released by the Department Utilizing Statistics & Tables (DUST), 76% of Americans think the United States needs a Royal Baby of its own. “It’s the only way to keep up with the damn Brits,” Dom … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Joe Biden Proposes Vice Presidents’ Day Holiday

Posted on February 17, 2015 by Austin

Has Vice President Joe Biden’s latest “big idea” betrayed his lack of faith in his ability to be elected President of the United States in 2016, Modern Philosophers? On the day after Presidents’ Day, the Vice President met with the … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

President Obama Loses Washington Monument To Pope Francis In Game Of HORSE

Posted on March 27, 2014 by Austin

It looks like the American landscape will literally be changing after President Obama’s historic first meeting with Pope Francis, Modern Philosophers. Pope Francis, this blog’s 2013 Being of the Year and my good friend, called The House on the Hill … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

President Obama Considers Sending Zombie Army To Ukraine

Posted on March 22, 2014 by Austin

As tensions heighten in Ukraine, President Obama is considering every available option before he will even think about sending American troops to the area. My sources in The White House tell me that the President is very high on a … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

President Obama Wants To Tax Gifts From Santa Claus

Posted on December 20, 2013 by Austin

It’s safe to say that President Obama just made every American’s Naughty List. Word around the Capitol today, Modern Philosophers, is that the President wants to tax us on the gifts we get from Santa Claus! “We tax other gifts, … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

President Obama Announces New Anti-Racism Initiative: “Time To Repaint The White House!”

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Austin

President Obama stunned the White House Press Corps today when he made a surprise announcement about his new idea for fighting racism.  “As you know, I have already made amazing strides against racism in our country by becoming the first … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , | 51 Comments