Tag Archives: President Obama

Advisers Urge President Obama To Declare Himself King

In the aftermath of Election Day, Modern Philosophers, America has seemed like an entirely different country as citizens react to and absorb the fact that Donald Trump has been elected the next President of the United States. Meanwhile, at the … Continue reading

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England To Become Our 51st State On July 4

President Obama has chosen Independence Day Eve, Modern Philosophers, to make the shocking announcement that England will become out fifty-first state on July 4. “Sure, our will flags look a little awkward now with a fifty-first star,” The President told … Continue reading

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My Top 5 States Of The Union

In honor of President Obama’s final State of the Union Address tonight, Modern Philosophers, I thought I’d address my My Top 5 states of the Union. While it was not easy to narrow down the field from 50 to 5, … Continue reading

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President Obama Declares Today Stuffing Saturday

President Obama is clearly ready to wrap up things and move on to life after the Presidency, Modern Philosophers. Nothing screams that more than today’s news conference, which he attended in sweatpants and a hideous Christmas sweater, and declared that … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

President Obama Sings “Happy Birthday, USA” With Stunned Americans

Happy Independence Day, Modern Philosophers! According to reports out of The White House, President Obama woke up early on the Fourth of July and decided to spread a little holiday cheer of his own. Numerous sources have confirmed that The … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

76% Of Americans Think The Country Needs A Royal Baby

According to a new poll released by the Department Utilizing Statistics & Tables (DUST), 76% of Americans think the United States needs a Royal Baby of its own. “It’s the only way to keep up with the damn Brits,” Dom … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Joe Biden Proposes Vice Presidents’ Day Holiday

Has Vice President Joe Biden’s latest “big idea” betrayed his lack of faith in his ability to be elected President of the United States in 2016, Modern Philosophers? On the day after Presidents’ Day, the Vice President met with the … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

President Obama Loses Washington Monument To Pope Francis In Game Of HORSE

It looks like the American landscape will literally be changing after President Obama’s historic first meeting with Pope Francis, Modern Philosophers. Pope Francis, this blog’s 2013 Being of the Year and my good friend, called The House on the Hill … Continue reading

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President Obama Considers Sending Zombie Army To Ukraine

As tensions heighten in Ukraine, President Obama is considering every available option before he will even think about sending American troops to the area. My sources in The White House tell me that the President is very high on a … Continue reading

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President Obama Wants To Tax Gifts From Santa Claus

It’s safe to say that President Obama just made every American’s Naughty List. Word around the Capitol today, Modern Philosophers, is that the President wants to tax us on the gifts we get from Santa Claus! “We tax other gifts, … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments