Tag Archives: aliens

Why Won’t The Aliens Come For Me?

Do you ever feel like you just don’t fit in, Modern Philosophers? That’s such a recurring sensation for me, that I actually panic if I ever begin to feel like I’m part of the crowd.  If I’m not on the … Continue reading

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But Trump Saved Us From An Alien Invasion

Aaron and Holly were practicing proper social distancing on their favorite benches in the park.  Since they were fifteen feet apart, they had their masks off and were enjoying their favorite beverages on a beautiful Sunday morning. “I spent a … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Late Nights, Short Films, Alien Moths, and Ferris Bueller

Summer is finally here, Modern Philosophers, which means long after dinner walks, during which the Deep Thoughts will flow faster than the Penobscot River now that the ice has finally melted. My plans for tonight were canceled at the last … Continue reading

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Space Explorer, Time Traveler, or Jedi Knight?

Welcome to The Friday Night Think Tank, Modern Philosophers! It has been a very long week, both literally and figuratively, as I worked over 50 hours between the desk job and The Nite Show.  I didn’t sleep well due to … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

How To Make Yourself More Enticing For Alien Abduction

Many of you have mentioned, Modern Philosophers, that you are jealous of my getting to travel across the galaxy in the Mothership that is home to Maine’s Alien population. While I don’t get to race among the stars that often, … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

The X-Files To Investigate Trump’s Hair

After far too long a hiatus, Modern Philosophers, The X-Files are back. This little known, clandestine department of the FBI, made a name for itself in the 1990s when two agents, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, solved a series of … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Why Didn’t The Pilgrims Discover Thanksgiving On A Monday?

I don’t know much about the Pilgrims, Modern Philosophers, other than that they were extremely sharp dressers, they loved to travel by boat, and they knew how to throw a righteous feast. I remember there being some movie about their … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Would Trump Banish Maine’s Aliens To Deep Space?

I was invited for Sunday Brunch aboard the Glovorkian Mothership that hovers high above Bangor, Modern Philosophers. While this was not my first meal aboard the mighty spacecraft that is the jewel of the Glovorkian Fleet, I got the sense … Continue reading

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Bill Pullman Finally Opens Up About Saving Earth From Aliens

On the eve of the greatest achievement of his career, Bill Pullman sat down with this Modern Philosopher to give a rare interview about the time he saved our planet from an Alien invasion. “I don’t really like to talk … Continue reading

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The Alien In My Closet

The Alien In my closet Refuses To come out And explore The rest Of my house. He insists That his mission Is to explore Strange, new worlds And nothing He has seen On Earth So far Intrigues him As much … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments