Tag Archives: aliens

Why Won’t The Aliens Come For Me?

Posted on April 10, 2021 by Austin

Do you ever feel like you just don’t fit in, Modern Philosophers? That’s such a recurring sensation for me, that I actually panic if I ever begin to feel like I’m part of the crowd.  If I’m not on the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

But Trump Saved Us From An Alien Invasion

Posted on August 9, 2020 by Austin

Aaron and Holly were practicing proper social distancing on their favorite benches in the park.  Since they were fifteen feet apart, they had their masks off and were enjoying their favorite beverages on a beautiful Sunday morning. “I spent a … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Late Nights, Short Films, Alien Moths, and Ferris Bueller

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Austin

Summer is finally here, Modern Philosophers, which means long after dinner walks, during which the Deep Thoughts will flow faster than the Penobscot River now that the ice has finally melted. My plans for tonight were canceled at the last … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

How To Make Yourself More Enticing For Alien Abduction

Posted on February 24, 2016 by Austin

Many of you have mentioned, Modern Philosophers, that you are jealous of my getting to travel across the galaxy in the Mothership that is home to Maine’s Alien population. While I don’t get to race among the stars that often, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

The X-Files To Investigate Trump’s Hair

Posted on January 25, 2016 by Austin

After far too long a hiatus, Modern Philosophers, The X-Files are back. This little known, clandestine department of the FBI, made a name for itself in the 1990s when two agents, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, solved a series of … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Why Didn’t The Pilgrims Discover Thanksgiving On A Monday?

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Austin

I don’t know much about the Pilgrims, Modern Philosophers, other than that they were extremely sharp dressers, they loved to travel by boat, and they knew how to throw a righteous feast. I remember there being some movie about their … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Would Trump Banish Maine’s Aliens To Deep Space?

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Austin

I was invited for Sunday Brunch aboard the Glovorkian Mothership that hovers high above Bangor, Modern Philosophers. While this was not my first meal aboard the mighty spacecraft that is the jewel of the Glovorkian Fleet, I got the sense … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Bill Pullman Finally Opens Up About Saving Earth From Aliens

Posted on July 3, 2015 by Austin

On the eve of the greatest achievement of his career, Bill Pullman sat down with this Modern Philosopher to give a rare interview about the time he saved our planet from an Alien invasion. “I don’t really like to talk … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Alien In My Closet

Posted on March 20, 2015 by Austin

The Alien In my closet Refuses To come out And explore The rest Of my house. He insists That his mission Is to explore Strange, new worlds And nothing He has seen On Earth So far Intrigues him As much … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Aliens Don’t Get Earthlings’ Fascination With Snow

Posted on January 13, 2015 by Austin

Sometimes, when I get too stressed, Modern Philosophers, I hitch a ride on the Alien Mothership that hovers high above Bangor, and spend a night up in the stars. The Mothership is enormous, but something about it feels warm and … Continue reading →

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